Rest, But Don't Quit

     In 1 Kings, there are numerous stories of how Elijah is used by God to do great, powerful, mighty, supernatural things. He commands the weather in 1 Kings 17:1 by saying "there will be no dew or rain during these years except by MY command." (emphasis added) He is then guided by God to a place where he has access to water and is provided nourishment by the ravens bringing him food. When the water dries up for the lack of rain, that he commanded would happen, he is guided to a widow's house. While there, her supply of oil and flour multiplied so she never was out of supply. Her son passes away and Elijah raises him back to life. 

    Elijah leaves her house and then challenges the prophets of Baal to a "duel." God shows Himself real through Elijah in this encounter. Time after time God shows Himself to and through Elijah. Elijah was not unfamiliar with the realness of God. Elijah, of all people, knew the true God.  And yet....

    Elijah knew fear. Elijah knew exhaustion. Elijah knew doubt. Elijah knew frustration. After his encounter with the prophets of Baal, Jezebel tells him he will be just like them within a day's time. In other words, she said, by tomorrow, you will be dead. And he believed her. Elijah. Who has done all these mighty works through the word of GOD, hears the words of Jezebel and runs to hide. Oh dear Elijah, how I can relate to you. 

    In my 40 plus years of life, I have seen the power of God many times. I have seen people healed in ways doctors cannot explain. I have felt the presence of God so strongly I could not even stand. Working in ministry can be exhilarating, rewarding, and a great honor. But like Elijah, the word of the "world" can still cause me to want to run and hide. 

    Elijah runs after Jezebel's proclamation. He lays down under a broom tree and says "I've had enough. Just let me die." I think over this last year many of us have felt this same feeling. This is all too much. Just let it be over, in whatever way necessary. He saw God's people had abandoned their faith. They were not walking in the true ways of God (19:10). Elijah felt all alone in his faith and devotion to the true God. But don't stop with Elijah's story there. In response to his plea, an angel appears. The angel provides him with two days of water and food. God saw, and acknowledged Elijah's need for rest. He not only saw his need, but He supplied during his need. 

    GOD SEES YOUR NEED FOR REST. 

Once Elijah's strength is restored, God directs him to get up. Elijah's calling had not yet been completely fulfilled. Elijah is guided to find Elisha so he can pass his anointing on to someone else. Our experiences and walk with God are not simply for us. We are called to continue in our race until we have passed on our anointing to others. God will provide for us fresh nourishment to arise and complete this journey.

GOD WILL PROVIDE YOUR STRENGTH

God spoke to me today to stop beating myself up for resting. To stop feeling like a failure because those I've witnessed to have rejected His word and turned from truth.  He showed me, through scripture, that I am not the first person to feel like abandoning my calling and purpose. I can trust God to provide what I need to increase my strength to arise and continue this journey He has called me to. And if He will do it for Elijah, and for me, He can do it for you too. So rest, receive supernatural sustenance, and then arise. 

ARISE AND GO WITH GOD 

    

For HIS Glory

Today I was listening to a worship song and singing happily along with the lyrics. As many of us do, I was singing without truly paying attention to the words I was speaking. Then, as usually happens when Tasha Cobbs enters the music rotation, God starts speaking. Here is what I was singing. 

Lord if I
Find favor in Your sight
Lord please
Hear my hearts cry

I'm desperately waiting
To be where You are
I'll cross the hottest desert
I'll travel near or far

For Your glory
I will do anything
Just to see You
To behold You as my King

For Your glory
I will do anything
Just to see you
To behold You as my King

After making this bold, heartfelt declaration, I heard God say "Really? You'll do anything? What about in ________?" I am inserting a blank here because the area God pointed out is one in which I have been struggling. You can insert your area of battle here for the sake of this illustration. Also, it's really none of your business what God called out on me. But I'm digressing.

He asked me....if it's for MY glory, are you willing to continue the fight? Will you quit before I get the glory? OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

What if the very thing in life you are fighting is the exact thing God will use to bring glory to HIM? What will happen if you throw in the towel and quit? And I get it! Crossing the hottest desert and traveling near or far may seem like an easy option compared to the battle you are facing! Sign me up for the road trip any day! 

Even Jesus asked for God to "take this cup from me" (Matthew 26:39) as He was facing His death. Yet, He followed this cry by saying "Not MY will, but YOURS." When facing His biggest fight, He asked God to take it away. But He knew that taking the burden away was not why He was created. Taking the cross out of the picture would not bring God glory. Dying to self brings God glory! Let me say it again...

DYING TO SELF BRINGS GOD GLORY. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!!

So I will keep fighting. I will continue in the place I have wanted to quit. Because I know it will bring Him glory. I just want to be where He is, and He's in the battle. He's in the places where I am tired. He's in the middle of it all. 

Click HERE to listen to For Your Glory by Tasha Cobbs Leonard.

Still In The Game by Devon Still

Still in the Game is an autobiography about how one young man overcomes great obstacles to reach one of the pinnacles of sports achievement and how his faith came into play throughout his journey. In his book, Still shares how growing up with both parents involved in his life made a tremendous difference in the choices he made, in spite of his surroundings and what his peers were doing. He shares how seeds planted in his childhood helped him to keep his focus on God during trying times.

I found this selection very easy to read and I thoroughly enjoyed the story. As a football fan, I was familiar with Devon Still and the story of how his daughter fought cancer. However, reading this book allowed me to truly see his devotion and dedication to his daughter. I would highly recommend this book to others who are in need of inspiration to keep up their fight in life. It's very inspiring and Biblically sound.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Lessons from Beautiful Boy

Last night my husband and I went to see the movie Beautiful Boy. It's a story about drug addiction and the affects on both the user, and those who love them. It caused me to think of those I know personally who have passed away from their drug use. I thought of their parents. I had the realization of the emotions and things they experienced prior to their child's death as they watched their beautiful boy (or girl) turn into another person. 

The film also shows how a father will go to great lengths to find the son he once knew. This film is not intended to be a Christian film, but it definitely had spiritual parallels. I thought of how Jesus looks for us while we are lost in our sin. As the father told the son, "This is not who you are!" I recalled all the times God has spoken those words to me. Steve Carell did a wonderful job portraying the anguish a parent goes through as their child makes decisions that are not in their best interest. It was a small glimpse into how God must feel as we disobey Him and the things He has told us are good for us. We seek out things other than Him to fill the hole in our hearts. We strive to get the next "high" when nothing but His presence will truly satisfy. 

Many of us know the story of the prodigal son in the bible. I wonder if the father searched for his son. I wonder if he lost sleep due to his anxiety over where his son was and what he was doing. This film is the modern day prodigal son story, as told by the father. It's also a reminder of where our seemingly innocent choices can lead us to choices with far more dangerous consequences. Where are you in your walk today? Are you running from God in an attempt to get your next high? Do you feel a void inside that you just can't seem to fill? There is only one way to find true peace and happiness. Stop running and come home to Jesus. He's been watching and waiting for you. 

I Broke Up With Social Media

I have been active on social media for years. Most of my activity has been through Facebook, but I've dabbled in the worlds of Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram. They have provided me with a way to stay connected to many people. Or at least they have given the illusion of staying connected. The reality is, I'm less connected to people than I've ever been. It was only through disconnected that I realized how much time social media has been stealing from me.

A couple weeks ago my husband attended a week long men's retreat. Part of the retreat involved him not having access to his phone, computers, or any connections to anyone outside of the retreat. I decided to log off my Facebook for the time he was gone as a way to join him in this experience. I learned several things about myself during that week away from Facebook. The first realization occurred on the first day of my disconnection. It was the revelation of how many times a day I pick up my phone to scroll through my feed. I had logged out in order to not get notifications and also to stop myself from simply hitting the icon on my phone and seeing what was happening in the "world." I wish I could tell you it only happened once or twice that I picked up my phone and clicked that app. A more accurate number is closer to ten. That's ten times of attempting to open an app I had decided I was not using that week. If I did it that many times in a day when I was NOT using it, how many times a day did I do that when I WAS using it?

The second realization is how much more peaceful my world is without the constant barrage of bad news, bickering opinions, negative attitudes, and the overall gloom and doom of what people discuss online. Yes, I realize not everything is negative, however I have found an overwhelming majority of it is quite depressing.

The third discovery I've made is how much more time I have to do other things I enjoy. Since ending my affair with Facebook, I've read three books. I'm averaging about one a week. Previously I was averaging about one a month. I've cooked more dinners and spent more time with my family. Not only am I spending more time with them, but I'm more present in those moments. I've also realized I spend far more time in worship and prayer. I start my day with Jesus rather than with my newsfeed.

I am not completely disconnected from social media, but what I've learned over the last few weeks is that I don't NEED it as much as I previously thought. I was shown today how bad the addiction to social media can be. We took our daughters to see the latest version of The Grinch movie and while in the theater I witnessed a woman sitting near us on her phone browsing through her Facebook feed. She did this through almost the entire movie. Her addiction was so bad she could not even put it away long enough to watch an animated movie with her children. I can't say I've ever felt the need to read status updates while in a theater, but how many other moments have I not been present because of my attention on things that don't really matter?

I challenge you, yes YOU reading this, to take a break from social media. Sign off the app on your phone so that way you don't accidentally find yourself logging in and catching yourself ten minutes (or more!) later. I started this for just a week, but after a week found it is something I simply don't really need in my life. I would love to hear what you find time to do again without the distraction of social media in your life. I encourage you to ask God to show you what other time stealers are in your life. What is Satan using to distract you from what really matters?

Your Money, Your Marriage by Cherie and Brian Lowe

I have to admit a book tying together how improving your handling of money can increase your sex life in marriage had me feeling a little skeptical. However, the authors do a great job explaining how the two seemingly unrelated issues impact each other greatly.  The Lowe's give examples of ways they saw their marriage improve as they improved their communication over finances. The book provides very practical ways to initiate conversations about money and how you can show your spouse you care about their opinions, even when they differ. 

I found this book very helpful as the conversations about money are often very uncomfortable. The strategies given have proven very beneficial to my marriage. The authors have challenged me to examine my own spending habits and the ways I am working against the goals we have set as a couple. The wisdom given is not just good advice, it is also Bible based and Godly. I found this selection easy to follow along with and enjoyable to read! 

I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

FULLY Known

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.”

—Tim Keller

One of my favorite songs at the moment is "Known" by Tauren Wells. I heard an interview with him about the song and he referenced the above quote as one of the motivations for the song. I love this song because it talks about how we are FULLY known by God, and He still loves us. It's ridiculous grace to be FULLY known and loved by the creator of the universe. 

I think one of our greatest fears as humans is if others truly knew us, they would no longer love us. It is the reason we lie. It is why we post only the highlights of our lives on social media. If people knew our struggles, our addictions, our pasts, our real thoughts, they may no longer love us. Honestly, would they really even LIKE us? We seek to please and impress rather than seek to be real. How often do you hear someone talk about why they like someone and they make the statement, "They're just so REAL!" We desire realness. Or at least perceived "realness." 

The reality is, we can never FULLY know someone. We only ever know someone to the extent they allow us inside. Even within marriage, we only know what our spouse chooses to share. What they do when we aren't around can easily be hidden. How they treat others outside of our presence, cannot be known by us. What we think about in the secret of the night and what we feel cannot be known unless we choose to share with others. 

But there is a God who knows it all. He knows more about us than we know about ourselves. The reasons why we do what we do? He knows. The things we do in secret? He knows. The family history we are ashamed to share? He knows. The thoughts we have that we would never dare speak? He knows. He knows it all. And yet He STILL loves us! No matter what we do, He continues to pursue us. We can run, and He still chases. He won't let go. This overwhelms me! 

I don't know what you are fighting right now. Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed and overlooked. Perhaps you have wanted a relationship with Christ, but feel you've done too much for Him to still love you. I can assure you, there is no height, nor depth, nor sin too great to separate you from His love. He ALREADY knows you FULLY! He's waiting for you to come to know Him. If you need prayer, please message me and I would be honored to pray with/for you. 

Hearing God's Voice

There was a time in my life where I knew I heard God. It was years ago. And then life happened. Changes came and responsibilities shifted and the thing that escaped me was my time spent with Him.  And then I couldn't hear Him any longer. He didn't move. I did.

Last week I committed to listening to a sermon a day in addition to taking time to read my Bible. I've asked God to show me He still speaks. And not just that He speaks, but that He still wants to speak to me. During worship on Sunday morning, I heard Him speak again. And He told me to write it down. Here is what I heard Sunday morning:

"When rains come, but nothing has been planted or sown, nothing can grow from the rain. The rain can saturate, God's presence can fill our lives, but if we haven't sown prior to the rain, there's nothing for God to grow fruit with. Sow in tears. Sow in heartbreak. Sow in tragedy. Sow in pain. Sow in praise. Sow in obedience. Sow even when you see no clouds coming. Sow when life is dry. Sow when you don't see the purpose. The seed never looks like what it will produce. Trust God enough to sow the seed no matter how fruitless it appears."

Then when the pastor preached, he confirmed some of these very things I "heard" during worship. Tonight, I had a very similar experience. Here is what I heard tonight,

Don't forget who I Am.

If you need a provider, I Am.

If you need a protector, I Am.

If you need a husband, I Am.

If you need to feel loved, I Am.

If you need a father, I Am.

If you need a healer, I Am.

I will be what you need and what you seek.

If you want a little God that is exactly what I will be to you.

If you seek a big God, a God of miracles, signs, and wonders, then that is WHO I AM.

I do not change. 

From the beginning of time, I have been all things. 

You change. You choose who I will be in your life.

Let me in to be all you need and more! 

Let me love on you.

Let me surprise you with the grandeur of who I Am.

Allow Me to open the blessings set aside for you.

I AM all you seek.

So seek ME FIRST!

During the message, one of the pastors shared the verse about seeking God first. I share all this to remind you if you haven't been hearing from God lately, look into your own life to see what changed. I had become so busy that I was not taking the time needed to hear Him above all the noise and obligations of life. I was not seeking Him first. He was more of an afterthought. As I have begun to put Him first again, I'm finding He is still speaking. And He is sending confirmation almost immediately after to confirm it IS indeed His voice I hear. 

I would like to challenge you to again seek Him. Listen to a sermon a day. It can be 20 minutes or an hour. Find one. I visit YouTube and search sermons. The options are plentiful! I would love to hear how God works in your life once you put Him first again! What is He speaking to YOU? 

Because Writing is My Therapy

I never knew a miscarriage would be so painful. Of course I could say I could "imagine" it, but that's a lie. Even though most of us know people who experienced this loss, until it is personal, there's no way to truly imagine how it feels. Whether the baby was planned or not, the idea of a new life joining the family is something you look forward to happening. In my situation, it wasn't just a loss, it was something that was pretty dramatic. Passing out at home, an ambulance ride, passing out several more times while in the emergency room, a surgery (and all that comes with being put to sleep for a surgery), and a hospital stay just added to what was happening. Tomorrow will be a week since this all happened. I'm still trying to process mentally and emotionally what happened. I have so many questions. Most I know will never be answered.

I am a person who rarely is home for longer than 24 hours at a time. Now, I don't want to leave my house. I ventured out of the house for the first time yesterday to go to a store. While there, I spotted someone I knew and immediately turned the other way to avoid having to speak to them. I don't want to see people and feel pitied or have to pretend everything is okay. I don't want the awkwardness of seeing people who knew I was expecting, but don't know what happened and so I'll have to tell them. Today my husband an I were touring a campground and walked into a room where someone had a small baby. I had to walk out because the tears came so quickly. I desperately want life to be "normal" yet nothing feels normal anymore. I know much of what is happening is due to the hormones that are going crazy in my body. The doctor explained how it's much like what happens after every pregnancy. But in this case, there's no new baby to remind me why this was all worth it.

To every friend and family member who has had a miscarriage, I'm so sorry I was not there for you. I'm so sorry I didn't realize how much this can change your life. It has been many of you who have messaged me and given me encouragement through this last week. It is a friend who has experienced this that was here with me when I passed out and she remained calm as she called 911.  In the last week I've learned of how many of you have walked this road. Thank you to each of you for sharing your stories with me. Thank you for encouraging me to feel whatever it is I feel. Thank you for not being the ones who have said stupid things that imply I somehow did something to cause this or that "maybe God was just saying you shouldn't have had that baby." (yes, I heard that exact thing).

What I can say I've learned in this last week is how much my husband loves me. If I ever doubted him, I can't now. He's been so patient and caring, even while I know he has been processing his own feelings. As he's been hurting too, he started working a second job so I can stay home and rest. When I had my moment today because I saw a baby, he hugged me and reassured me it was okay to be upset and to take all the time I needed to recompose myself. He's told me more times than I can count that I'm his champion. I am pretty sure he told all the people in the hospital that too. He's reminded me many times this was not my fault and there's nothing I did to cause this. I'm pretty sure every mom has these thoughts, no matter how much we KNOW it's not true.

While I may never understand the purpose of this, I do see how God has used this to draw us closer together and to strengthen our marriage. I know this is not the case with all couples. I know trials and loss can often destroy a relationship. I'm grateful that in our case, it has made us stronger. I trusted Jesus two weeks ago and I still trust Him now.

I don't really know the point of the post. I pray it will help someone who has been through this or who is going through this. I pray it will help someone who reads this and knows someone who is experiencing this and encourages you to think before you speak (PLEASE don't say anything to imply it was her fault) and helps you realize even if she seems ok, she's likely still hurting deeply. It's okay to acknowledge the loss. There was a life she carried and now she isn't. If she cries, it's okay. It's not you. She's just trying to find her normal again.

After Birth

Last night one of the last thoughts I had before going to sleep was that I really should make more of an effort to get up earlier and spend time with God. I'm sure many of you have had this thought, and probably, like me, never make it further than being just a thought. This morning around 5 am, our dog woke me up. It was because he was licking his butt incessantly, but that is not the point of this narrative. I repeatedly told him to stop because I desperately wanted to go back to sleep. But I was awake. Very awake. Then I heard it. You know you have too. That gentle reminder of, "Remember when you said you wanted to get up early to spend time with Me? Well, you ARE awake now." So I got up and did some reading. And here is what God showed me this morning....

Since it is December, I decided to read Luke's narrative of Christ's birth. Yes, there are parts I read in the voice of Linus from A Charlie Brown Christmas. Please don't act like you don't do the same. Yet I digress. This is a part of scripture that is easy to read with familiarity. The challenge when reading verses we have heard so many times is allowing God to show us something new. Amazingly, He always does! 

"After seeing them, they reported the message they were told about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them." 

Luke 2:17-19

Mary. Oh sweet, young, Mary. What kind of treatment had she endured throughout her pregnancy? Having been a single mom twice over myself, I can somewhat imagine the ridicule she must have faced. I know my own experience and the comments that were made to me and this was in the last 20 years. But 2,000 years ago? And unlike me, Mary did not make the choices herself that lead to her condition. Despite all the things that must have been said to her, she KNEW in her heart the truth of her child. Yes, Joseph was also visited by an angel to confirm the situation, but I wonder if Mary ever wondered if Joseph was just "playing along" to make her feel better. Did she ever question if she imagined the whole thing and maybe one night in a state of forgetfulness her and Joseph did hook up and that was really how she became pregnant. Did she ever question the origins of the promise inside of her? Ahhhh...that word! The Promise! 

Are there things God has promised you? Have you clearly heard Him speak and believed His word to be true and while it seems part of it is legitimate, those around you don't believe the origin? Obviously, Mary was pregnant. This was a fact. The matter in question was the origin of what she was carrying. Is what you are carrying from God or from you? When it is from God, the origin will always be confirmed to others through the Holy Spirit, and in time will be revealed. This is why the verse above in bold "spoke" to me this morning. I read it several times. While others were marveling at the birth of Jesus and the revelation given through the angels, Mary was treasuring the moment and meditating on what was happening. When what you have been carrying is birthed, it is OTHERS who will proclaim in confirmation that it is the work of the Lord. You do not have to be the one to shout from the rooftops, "This is God! This is God!" Yes, we overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony. I am not saying we should not share our story. What God showed me is that in the "afterbirth" of what He has told us He would do, there is a time for OTHERS to marvel in the goodness of God and to share what they have seen. 

There is a time for us to remain silent. There is a time to meditate on the reality of others recognizing the promise of God in our lives. For all the time you spent wondering, "Am I crazy to believe this is of God?" there is a time when God will show others THIS IS FROM ME! Treasure this time. Hold on to these times. Because there will be a time again down the road when God will speak again. I wonder if as Mary watched Jesus ridiculed and crucified, it was these memories that she pulled on to get her through. She meditated on these while He was yet a baby, so that as she watched His purpose play out, she could remind herself this was God's will. You, too, will need this as you see what you birthed fulfill its purpose. There will be times of pain as your "baby" matures into what God intended it to be. In these times, recall the days of amazement from others. Know that you DID hear from God and He will never fail to see His purposes fulfilled. 

So if God has spoken a promise into you that you have not yet birthed, hold on to that promise. Continue to nurture it just as you would an unborn child. Know that in time, it will come to be seen by others and they will know the goodness of God through that work He has birthed through you! 

A Gift From God

If you have children, you have likely experienced the following scenario: 

It's December. There is the ONE toy your child has decided would make their life complete. All you hear about is this toy. Then the day comes. It's Christmas morning and you are giddy yourself as you wait for them to get to the ONE present they have been begging to receive. When they open it, they jump up and down and shout excitedly. They can't wait to tear open the box and begin their new adventures with their gift. And then January comes. You are hearing how your child is bored and there's nothing to do. So you ask what happened to their gift. If you are lucky, they know where the gift is, but sometimes they can't even find where they placed the gift. 

Sadly, I think this scenario could also describe the gift of a spouse. Once upon a time, you viewed your spouse as being a gift from God. Don't laugh. If you don't consider them a gift, you likely would have never married them. If you never considered them a gift, then I would wonder why you would marry someone who wasn't sent from God. However, that's something for another post.

When you were single, you begged God to send you a spouse. He heard your prayers and He excitedly watched as your wedding day arrived and you received the gift He'd given you. You were just as excited as a child on Christmas morning. You may have even jumped up and down and shouted excitedly! But then "January" came. And you somehow forgot all about your gift. 

I have to admit, there was a time I saw my husband as a gift from God. However, somewhere along the way, I forgot. In the monotony of life, he became someone who left his dirty towels on the floor and his dishes on the coffee table. That's hardly what I would call a gift. And that is where I focused. It's like the toy that requires batteries, and unless you replace them, it will not work. It's the puzzle that looked fun in the box, but now you realize it's work to put it together so it matches the picture you've been shown (let that one sink in). 

Recently I felt bored and frustrated with my husband. Our schedules of work, dishes, dinners, laundry, kids, and the other activities of life, had become bigger than the gifts of each other. Not only did I stop seeing the gifts in him, I had stopped seeing the gifts in myself. I stopped writing and I resigned from the ministry I worked with for several years. I saw the "box" of the puzzle and asked God why my life wasn't matching the picture He had shown me several years ago. What He showed me was that I had not even taken the pieces out of the box! How can I expect the picture to match when I have not done the work of assembling the pieces? I had received the gift, but had I even truly opened that gift? Perhaps I was still fascinated with the pretty wrappings, and had yet to get to the REAL gift that is my spouse. 

Are you bored in your marriage? Have you lost excitement over the gift that is your spouse? It's very easy to do! Assembling a marriage in a way that matches the picture God painted is work. It's tearing down the pictures of marriage that are painted by the world. It's not marriage as defined on reality television. It's not recreating the marriages of your parents. In this day and age, that marriage likely ended in divorce, so why would you want to recreate that anyway? 

What are the gifts in your spouse that attracted you to them when you first met? What gifts are in you that you have hidden in the closet due to the daily activities of life? What gifts have been bestowed on you by your loving Abba God that you have forgotten or neglected to notice or show care? Why not pull those gifts out. Put in the new batteries needed to give it new life. Take the pieces out of the box and begin assembling the picture God showed you. I know this is not always easy, but with God, truly, all things are possible. 

What is Good?

My daughters love cheap, square, frozen pizzas. Tonight as one was being eaten, my daughter made the statement of how good these pizzas taste. I can't say I agree with her. In fact, in my list of favorite pizza, this kind is very near the bottom of the list. I didn't really respond, but thought about how, to my daughter, these are delicious. I thought about how her experience with pizza does not equal mine. There are pizza adventures I've had that she can't even fathom. Then I started thinking about how this type of thing frequently happens to us in various parts of our lives. 

We often label something as "good" only because it is our only experience. Because we have never known anything different or better, we think of what we know as being the best. The sad part of this is how so many people settle for a life that is at the "bottom of the list" to those who know of better. We are content in our mediocrity simply because it is the life we have known. Even worse, we define something as "good" that was never intended by God to be something "good." 

What if what we spend so much energy fighting to keep is what God has deemed as the bottom of the list? I've personally been in relationships I thought were good, only because they were better than the last relationship or were on par, or better than the relationships of others I knew.  But God had SO much more for me! It wasn't until I sought God's wisdom regarding relationships that I started to see HIS best. When I was waiting for my husband, I knew I just didn't want "good." I wanted what God would describe as the best....for ME! 

Others come into our lives who will challenge us to move from what we see as good and attempt to show us better. How we respond to their advice and example is up to us. I am thankful for all those who have been bold enough to challenge me to try something new which led me to find better than what I previously saw as "good." The truth is, according to God's word, He wants to do so much more than we can imagine! He wants us to live a life beyond what we currently define as "good." The question is, how will we respond when He shows us there is more? What will we do when faced with a decision to stay in the current "good" when God is trying to move us into something better? Will we listen and respond accordingly? 

I pray for you to never settle for a life of square, frozen pizza living. 

Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us, 21 to Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. 

Ephesians 3:20-21

Moral Decline

"But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait

for the God of my salvation. My God will hear me."

Micah 7:7

If you've watched even two minutes of any news broadcast lately, you know the moral state of the world we live in is not encouraging. Random murders are occurring in concerning numbers. The lines between Biblical beliefs and worldly beliefs are clearly drawn. There is the need now to weigh obedience to the law of man against the law of God. It's becoming more and more difficult to be obedient to both. It's easy for us to look back over our own lifetimes and think this is something new for God's people to face. However, this has been happening for thousands of years. 

I opened my Bible to the book of Micah today and the the chapter heading given in my Bible caught my attention. The title of Chapter 7 is, "Israel's Moral Decline." Due to everything happening in our current society, I decided to stop and read what Micah had to say regarding moral decline. What do we do when "a person's enemies are the people in his own home?" (vs. 6) What do we do when Godly people have vanished from the land? (vs. 2) What do we do when the official and the judge demand a bribe? (vs. 3) Many of these statements could be used to describe our situation today! 

The answer given by the prophet Micah, is to look to the Lord. Our focus can be so caught up on what is happening around us we forget to remember our hope is in Christ, not man. We can become stressed and anxious, or rest in Him and know He is our defender and our peace. Who He was at the time of Micah's writing is who He is today. God still hears the cries of His people. When the world is in chaos, He is still in control. Things will happen that will cause His people to be set apart. The days of lukewarm Christianity is soon coming to an end, which is a good thing because lukewarm faith should never even be an option for believers. 

So, what will you do? Will you choose to dwell on the doomsday reports in the news and live your life anxiously looking around every corner and waiting for an attack, or will you live trusting God. The two can't coincide together. Don't lock yourself down in your little corner of the world and hide. Go be the light in an ever darkening world. 

Sometimes You Lose to Gain

My dad had part of his leg amputated this week. I know this doesn't directly concern me, yet I've had to deal with my share of emotions surrounding this change in his life. Over the last several years he has had 8 surgeries on the same leg due to blood clots and other issues. We visited him a couple weeks ago for his birthday and he said there would be no more surgeries if the problem arose again. He knew amputation was the next option. Several days after we left, his leg began hurting again. Even though I knew what was going to happen, I've had to deal with a roller coaster of emotions. The biggest being the knowledge my dad will never "walk" me down the aisle. My husband and I were married in January, but are planning a ceremony and reception for the fall. My dad mentioned several times how he wanted to walk me down the aisle. That is no longer possible. In fact, based on the date we have picked out and the rehab time for him, he may not be able to be there at all.

Then there is the change in how I see my dad. I know as our parents get older, how they are and how we think of them doesn't always align. My dad has always been one of the strongest (and most stubborn) people I've ever known. He was a Marine. And not just any Marine. He's a 20 year, served in Vietnam driving a tank and earned a Purple Heart Marine. For him to admit he's in extreme pain means he is in a LOT of pain.

Today I received a picture of my dad's new leg...or lack of. I asked how he was handling the change and I was told, "It doesn't hurt anymore." This brought tears as I thought of how true this is for much of our life. In order to find healing, sometimes we have to lose, or cut, something off. The pain of keeping something, or even someone, can be so great the only way to not be in pain is to be willing to let go. It may not be something as extreme as a limb. Perhaps it's a friendship. Or a job. Sometimes it's letting go of a dream or pursuit if the pursuit is causing pain and misery. What once was good, is no longer good, but infected and if not treated or removed could bring death.

Lately I've been feeling God has been telling me it is time to let go of some things in my life that at one time were good and useful, but now bring stress and pain to my life. While they may not bring a physical death, if I continue to hold on to them, they could bring a spiritual and emotional death. Hearing the statement from my dad of how, "It doesn't hurt anymore," has confirmed it is time to let go of certain things. Instead of stressing over the, "But what about this...." type of questions I've been asking God, I know it is time to trust Him again. There are changes happening that don't make sense to me, and yet I know they are from God. The peace is found only in the losing.

Have you had to let go of something in order to find healing? Is there something in your life causing pain and sickness and God is telling you it's time to let it go. I pray He gives you peace to trust Him and let go. Even though it may cause a limp, it's worth not living in pain anymore.

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. 

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? 

I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." 

Isaiah 43:18-19

I've set up a Tupperware fundraiser for my Dad. 40% of all purchases will be donated to help him in remodeling the bathroom in his home. You can visit http://www.tupperware.com/?fundraiser=55d649b7a0da73531f7bae74 to shop the fundraiser. 

Choose This Day

Every day we wake up with the opportunity to start anew. What happened yesterday is in the past and we've been blessed with a chance to live another day and make different, and hopefully better, choices. I have to admit I don't always make the best of each day. I can become so focused on my schedule and what needs to be done that I overlook the opportunities God places in front of me to make a difference in someone's life.

When was the last time you did something just to make someone else smile? Today I had several tasks to do that most people would consider unpleasant. I took my oldest daughter to get her learner's permit, I had a doctor's appointment (the fun appointment only women have), got my vehicle inspected, and renewed my license plate registration. Sounds like an awesome day, right? Actually, it was. While standing in line I observed how quite and somber everyone was at the Registry. You would think it was an execution line everyone seemed so miserable! In the midst of this I decided to speak to the woman standing in front of me. This gave the chance to meet Ms. Theresa. Since we were in line at the Registry, we had a bit of time to get to know each other. She has just lost her husband to cancer. His time of diagnose to death was only 2 1/2 months and she said she was still a little in shock, but the New Yorker in her has kept her moving. She shared with me about her moving while her husband was sick and how she had to do it by herself. She told me how she would miss him most this fall when she would work the Renaissance Festival booth they had worked together for years. She shared how he'd chase the women there and how he was a "boob man" and she just laughed thinking of how they had fun with all the visitors there. We talked about when she worked at Wal-Mart years ago and how she would get in trouble for letting kids ride on the conveyor belts of the register. (I can't say I'd recommend this activity). As you can tell, I learned quite a bit about my new friend in the time we were standing in line. And I could also tell she was hurting.

If I had chosen to stand in line somberly like everyone else, I would have missed my chance. I would have missed the chance to give a smile and encouragement to someone experiencing grief. I don't know if my starting a conversation with Ms. Theresa made an impact on her. I don't know if it gave her a moment of joy in her day. I pray it did. I pray God put me in line behind her just to be able to let her know people do still care. I gave her my number and told her if she needed anything, or any heavy lifting, to please call me and my husband and I would gladly help her out. She may never take up the offer, but I pray it showed her people really do still care about others.

In making a conscious effort to impact others, we must also make sure we don't overlook those closest to us. Many of us live with others and we can forget to do something special for those we see every day. Maybe it's making their favorite meal or taking extra time in braiding their hair, but do something that will show extra love to those in your home. Listen to the story they are telling you that has nothing to do with anything you are interested in hearing. Turn off the television. TALK to each other! My two youngest children told me tonight they were bored and asked to watch television. I answered no and suggested they find something or go to bed early. Shortly after I overheard them reading their Bibles to each other and discussing the story. I wish I could say this happens daily, but again, I fail. Often.

Thankfully, when I wake up, I'll get another chance to make a choice. Will I choose to only focus on what I have to do, or will I ask God to keep me aware of the chance to brighten the day of another person. Will I be willing to choose to serve Him, no matter where I will be? We each have a choice. Choose THIS day whom you will serve.

"But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.....but for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." ~Joshua 24:15

How Do You Trust Again?

Trust is a crazy thing. When we are younger, we have to trust others in order to survive. We don't even realize we are trusting another person, it just happens naturally. However, as we grow older, we realize trust is not always a guarantee of someone upholding their responsibility. What happens over time is our ability to trust diminishes. As much as we want to trust others, our past disappointments cause us to question everything or doubt others will do what they've promised to do.

Broken trust in relationships has damaging effects. Sadly, it is usually not the person that broke the trust that pays the price of the let down, but the person who comes after the one who was untrustworthy. This is by far the greatest issue I have had to face within marriage. I spent many years single because I was not ready to trust anyone with my heart. I prayed many times asking God to heal me of the wounds others had inflicted through abandonment and abuse. When it comes to our issues, it is easy for us to think we have healed.....until we have to face our issues head on. When you are single, you don't have to trust anyone. Within marriage, trust is everything.

So the dilemma for me now really isn't about trusting my husband. It comes down to asking myself, "Do I trust God?" I know I do. I've trusted Him many times when making decisions that make little or no sense to me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt He told me to marry the man who is now my husband. I had, and still have, peace about that decision. And yet, that doesn't mean doubt will not still creep into my mind. I will see or hear things and due to my past, my perception of these things will cause me to question what I'm seeing. While it is important to move on from our pasts, it is also the things from our past that can cloud our perception and judgement.

The question that remains is this: How do we move forward? I wish I had an easy answer. I don't. When it comes to trusting again, there is nothing easy about the process. Trust involves risk. It involves allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It means you have to believe in the goodness of another person enough to let them into the places you have kept locked. It means seeking God often to remember where your trust ultimately lies. It is remembering Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

If you've overcome trust issues, I would love to hear from you! How did you learn to trust again? 

More Than Lip Service

As I have been reading the book of Isaiah it has struck me how angry God can become. We hear so many messages of God's love, grace, and forgiveness that we can forget all those things come only through the blood of Jesus. Or maybe it was just my own forgetfulness. Isaiah is full of warnings to the rebellious of the destruction awaiting them for their actions. It is easy for us to point the finger at those outside the church as being condemned, but God's word of warning is often directed to those who call themselves believers. 

"The Lord said: Because these people approach Me with their mouths to honor Me with lip-service--yet their hearts are far from Me, and their worship consists of man-made rules learned by rote--therefore I will again confound these people with wonder after wonder. The wisdom of their wise men will vanish, and the understanding of the perceptive will be hidden." Isaiah 29:13-14

This was not given as a warning to those worshiping pagan gods. This was to those who were approaching God! God is not mocked (Gal 6:7). He knows the conditions of our hearts when we approach Him. He knows when our hearts are sincere and when we are simply going through the motions. If our worship is learned by routine, then are we truly worshiping? Shouldn't worship be an extension of God speaking to us and us responding to Him? If our worship follows the same pattern day after day and week after week, then has it become routine? Do we raise our hands out of surrender or simply because we go to a church where people raise their hands? If nobody else was raising their hands, yet we were moved to worship in that way, would we go with whatever is "acceptable" in the current environment or what our heart is prompting? If every worship set at church is exactly 28 minutes long, then haven't we become routine? 

God is very clear in the above verse of the consequences of becoming fake in our walk. Wisdom will vanish! It is no big secret wisdom is lacking not just in our culture in general, but also in the church. Not only is the world a fatherless generation, but the church is lacking spiritual fathers also. Fathers love, but they also discipline. Fathers aren't concerned with being liked as much as they are concerned with teaching Godly instruction. Fathers make decisions not based on what is good for themselves, but what is best for the family. Fathers pray for their children and encourage them to be what God created them to be and not just what they need them to be to further their own agenda. Fathers lead by example not just words. 

Here is another warning found in Isaiah 30:1-3

"Woe to the rebellious children! This is the Lord's declaration. They carry out a plan, but not Mine, they make an alliance, but against My will, piling sin on top of sin. They set out to go down to Egypt without asking My advice, in order to seek shelter under Pharaoh's protection and take refuge in Egypt's shadow. But Pharaoh's protection will become your shame, and refuge in Egypt's shadow your disgrace."

As I reflect over my life and the choices I've made I see how many of my plans I carried out with no regard to God. I lived in direct rebellion to Him and then had the nerve to ask Him to bless what I was doing in rebellion! How often do we live in a way we know is not God's will, but pray for Him to bless what He never chose for us? Yes, God can work all things out for His glory, but I've found it usually doesn't look the way we think it will. I've met men that were decent men, yet I knew in my spirit they were leading me away from my relationship with Christ. Any time something or someone will lead you to stumble in your walk or to sin, it is NOT part of God's plan for your life. Just as the verse above mentions, one sin usually leads to another. Think of the number of abortions happening every day as the result of sexual sin. This may seem an extreme example, but it's a true one. In order to hide the sin of sex outside of marriage, we seek out the sin of murder. And because of our lack of wisdom (see first verse given) we even tell ourselves it's not murder. 

We seek shelter and protection (things of comfort) in things of the world rather than in relationship with Christ. Those things of worldly comfort will always become our shame and disgrace. Comfort in the arms of someone who is not our spouse will lead to a fall. The same is true of drugs, alcohol, and anything else that is not honoring to God. 

I've gone down this road to remind all of us how important it is to be covered by the blood of Christ. Not only to accept Him personally, but to walk the walk and not simply talk the talk. "Woe to those who go to great lengths to hide their plans from the Lord! (Isaiah 29:15) There is nothing hidden from Him! We can put up a front to everyone else, but God sees it all. Not only our actions, but the motivation in our hearts behind the actions. I challenge each of you to spend some time reading Isaiah. It's great to read the encouraging verses and definitely less painful than reading the ones full of rebuke. However, love does not exist where there is no correction. What area of your life does God need to correct today? 

Don't Be Deceived

"Be careful that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit based on human tradition, based on the elemental forces of the world, and not based on Christ. For in Him the entire fullness of God's nature dwells bodily, and you have been filled by Him, who is the head over every ruler and authority." 

Colossians 2:8-10

In our age of scientific advancement, it is easy for us to begin to think we know everything. Or perhaps we recognize we lack knowledge in some areas, but we know just enough to be dangerous. Not dangerous to others, but dangerous to ourselves. I know I have been guilty of seeking knowledge instead of Godly wisdom. What I've found is the more book or world knowledge I gained, the less I turned to God for His help and guidance. I neglect to seek His word regarding simple matters. In my genius moments, I think I know more than Him. The reality is, I know absolutely nothing. 

The wisdom and information of the world is usually not very challenging. God's word challenges. The world tells me to do what feels good. God tells me to do what is good for me. The world says my body is a playground and meant to be used. God tells me my body is a temple and a place for His Spirit to dwell. The world tells me to pursue happiness. God tells me peace and joy are fruits of the Spirit only found through Him. The world says you should fit in with the crowd. God says we are to be a strange and peculiar people. The world says go with the flow so others will like you. Jesus said we will be persecuted just as He was.

What influences your beliefs? Do you abide by biblical standards or do your values mold to fit the current cultural standard? Have you sought God's opinion on popular matters or do you turn to news and entertainment to determine what is acceptable and true? Do you allow Christ to be the final authority on what is "right?" If the Holy Spirit lives in you, then shouldn't your values and opinions reflect His Spirit?

Our world is full of influences contrary to scripture. Hold fast to God's word even in the face of cultural pressure to compromise. Just because popular opinion says something does not make it true. It was popular opinion that killed Jesus. The crowds are often wrong.

This is Not a Test: Which Disciple Would You Be?

I often find it difficult to slow down when I read scripture. I find this especially hard when reading a story I've heard or read many times throughout my life. Today I was reading Matthew's account of the last supper. I'm sure it is a story many of us can recite from memory. If you've experienced communion, then certainly you know the details.

Part of the story involves the disciples arguing over which one of them would betray Christ. In the story told by Luke, the disciples basically begin by being concerned over who would be the worst of them and it turns into debating which of them are the greatest. Isn't that much like ourselves? When we come to Christ we feel like the worst of sinners, but then we begin comparing ourselves to those around us and start to think we might actually be the greatest in the Kingdom.

Each disciple is known for their flaws as well as their faith. Thomas for his doubt. Peter for his denial. And of course Judas for his betrayal. We often read of each disciple and find one we most identify with based on similarities in character. I know I have done it myself. In my reading this morning I was struck with a realization I had never considered before. As much as I hate to admit it, most of my life has been lived as Judas. 

Judas walked alongside Christ just as much as the other disciples. Judas gave up his way of life to be one of the chosen 12. Judas made many choices that showed his love of Jesus. His devotion was never questioned by the other disciples or else when Jesus said one would betray Him, they all would have immediately known it would be Judas. As I read, I have no doubt Judas loved Jesus. The problem was Judas was human. He had a weakness and satan knew all about that weakness. Judas was in charge of Jesus' finances and it was money that caused him to betray his Lord. When Jesus says, "...woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed! It would have been better for that man if he had not been born," I think He knew of the torment Judas would feel after the betrayal had taken place. 

I know the guilt I have felt after I've deliberately sinned. When I have stumbled I wanted to run and hide from God rather than run to Him. I know the price that was paid for my freedom and yet many times I've chosen to betray His love for me. I have walked closely with Him and yet sold him for a fleeting moment of passion or worldly fun. 

But thankfully, my story doesn't have to end like Judas'. I want mine to end like Peter. While I may have denied Jesus on multiple occasions by my life choices, I want to finish my life living for Him and telling others about all He did. I want to perform miracles in His name. I want to follow Him to the grave and beyond. The guilt and shame may have overtaken Judas, but I refuse to let it overtake me. 

Which disciple "speaks" to you? If it is Judas, don't let your story end in guilt. Peter wept bitterly after his denial of Jesus. Weeping is good to cleanse us of the pain we feel after betraying the One who loves us most. However, weeping is only for a season. Get up and live your life in a way that will honor Him. Starting today.

I Have Issues

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but one of power, love, and a sound mind." 

2 Timothy 1:7

Have you ever felt you were healed of an issue only to discover you still had more healing to do? This is the reality that has been staring me in the face lately. I was naive enough to believe I had dealt with the trust issues I had....and then I had to actually trust someone. It's easy to think we have dealt with our issues if we never are in situations that cause us to face our issues. I'm finding marriage causes me to face not just this issue, but all of my issues. Whether it's trust, abandonment, doubt, or any of my other issues, I'm beginning to understand all of them go back to one root. The root of them all is fear. And fear is never from God. 

"There is no fear in love; instead, perfect love drives out fear, because fear involves punishment. So the one who fears has not reached perfection in love. We love because He first loved us." 

1 John 4:18

I'm reminded daily that to love perfectly is to trust. I love God. And I trust Him. There are many times I don't understand why He does what He does, but I trust His ways are greater and wiser than mine. Having been single and on my own for most of my life, it's a process to transfer this kind of trust to another human. Because most of the people I chose to trust in the past let me down greatly. And that statement is something God just revealed to me as I typed. They were the people I CHOSE to trust. My choosing in the past was all made on my own. I didn't seek God's help in making decisions. Things are drastically different now! 

I married my husband shortly after we met. I realized this past week we have been married for longer than we dated. Very little about our relationship has gone according to my plan. I was always afraid to let down my wall enough to allow anyone inside. Yet, when I met my husband, I knew it was time to choose to give him a chance. God gave me complete peace about moving forward with the decisions we made. And I have to ask him to remind me of this peace when my issues arise and cause me to feel anxious. 

An issue arose yesterday that caused me to overreact to something. Later in the day my husband said how thankful he was for me and how much he appreciated me. I made a comment about what happened earlier in the day. His response floored me. He said, "I know this is one of your issues. And I don't know how to fix it. I can't take away the hurt others caused you. But what I can do is love you even with these issues. Until death do we part. Because that is what I promised." He has no idea the impact his seemingly simple words had on me. 

Perfect, Christ-like love, casts out fear. I saw my husband look like Christ yesterday. Because God loved us, we can learn how to love. Because I trust God, I can trust His plan in choosing my husband. So as I'm learning to trust a human, I fall back on my trust of God. I know His plan for me is good and not to harm me. 

Is there an area in which you are experiencing fear? Are you having to confront your issues? I pray you call on the name of your Father when stress and anxiety begin to arise in your life. Don't let the enemy steal any more time from you because of fear.