How Do You Trust Again?

Trust is a crazy thing. When we are younger, we have to trust others in order to survive. We don't even realize we are trusting another person, it just happens naturally. However, as we grow older, we realize trust is not always a guarantee of someone upholding their responsibility. What happens over time is our ability to trust diminishes. As much as we want to trust others, our past disappointments cause us to question everything or doubt others will do what they've promised to do.

Broken trust in relationships has damaging effects. Sadly, it is usually not the person that broke the trust that pays the price of the let down, but the person who comes after the one who was untrustworthy. This is by far the greatest issue I have had to face within marriage. I spent many years single because I was not ready to trust anyone with my heart. I prayed many times asking God to heal me of the wounds others had inflicted through abandonment and abuse. When it comes to our issues, it is easy for us to think we have healed.....until we have to face our issues head on. When you are single, you don't have to trust anyone. Within marriage, trust is everything.

So the dilemma for me now really isn't about trusting my husband. It comes down to asking myself, "Do I trust God?" I know I do. I've trusted Him many times when making decisions that make little or no sense to me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt He told me to marry the man who is now my husband. I had, and still have, peace about that decision. And yet, that doesn't mean doubt will not still creep into my mind. I will see or hear things and due to my past, my perception of these things will cause me to question what I'm seeing. While it is important to move on from our pasts, it is also the things from our past that can cloud our perception and judgement.

The question that remains is this: How do we move forward? I wish I had an easy answer. I don't. When it comes to trusting again, there is nothing easy about the process. Trust involves risk. It involves allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It means you have to believe in the goodness of another person enough to let them into the places you have kept locked. It means seeking God often to remember where your trust ultimately lies. It is remembering Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

If you've overcome trust issues, I would love to hear from you! How did you learn to trust again?