If you have children, you have likely experienced the following scenario:
It's December. There is the ONE toy your child has decided would make their life complete. All you hear about is this toy. Then the day comes. It's Christmas morning and you are giddy yourself as you wait for them to get to the ONE present they have been begging to receive. When they open it, they jump up and down and shout excitedly. They can't wait to tear open the box and begin their new adventures with their gift. And then January comes. You are hearing how your child is bored and there's nothing to do. So you ask what happened to their gift. If you are lucky, they know where the gift is, but sometimes they can't even find where they placed the gift.
Sadly, I think this scenario could also describe the gift of a spouse. Once upon a time, you viewed your spouse as being a gift from God. Don't laugh. If you don't consider them a gift, you likely would have never married them. If you never considered them a gift, then I would wonder why you would marry someone who wasn't sent from God. However, that's something for another post.
When you were single, you begged God to send you a spouse. He heard your prayers and He excitedly watched as your wedding day arrived and you received the gift He'd given you. You were just as excited as a child on Christmas morning. You may have even jumped up and down and shouted excitedly! But then "January" came. And you somehow forgot all about your gift.
I have to admit, there was a time I saw my husband as a gift from God. However, somewhere along the way, I forgot. In the monotony of life, he became someone who left his dirty towels on the floor and his dishes on the coffee table. That's hardly what I would call a gift. And that is where I focused. It's like the toy that requires batteries, and unless you replace them, it will not work. It's the puzzle that looked fun in the box, but now you realize it's work to put it together so it matches the picture you've been shown (let that one sink in).
Recently I felt bored and frustrated with my husband. Our schedules of work, dishes, dinners, laundry, kids, and the other activities of life, had become bigger than the gifts of each other. Not only did I stop seeing the gifts in him, I had stopped seeing the gifts in myself. I stopped writing and I resigned from the ministry I worked with for several years. I saw the "box" of the puzzle and asked God why my life wasn't matching the picture He had shown me several years ago. What He showed me was that I had not even taken the pieces out of the box! How can I expect the picture to match when I have not done the work of assembling the pieces? I had received the gift, but had I even truly opened that gift? Perhaps I was still fascinated with the pretty wrappings, and had yet to get to the REAL gift that is my spouse.
Are you bored in your marriage? Have you lost excitement over the gift that is your spouse? It's very easy to do! Assembling a marriage in a way that matches the picture God painted is work. It's tearing down the pictures of marriage that are painted by the world. It's not marriage as defined on reality television. It's not recreating the marriages of your parents. In this day and age, that marriage likely ended in divorce, so why would you want to recreate that anyway?
What are the gifts in your spouse that attracted you to them when you first met? What gifts are in you that you have hidden in the closet due to the daily activities of life? What gifts have been bestowed on you by your loving Abba God that you have forgotten or neglected to notice or show care? Why not pull those gifts out. Put in the new batteries needed to give it new life. Take the pieces out of the box and begin assembling the picture God showed you. I know this is not always easy, but with God, truly, all things are possible.
