At our life group on Monday we discussed having God revelation versus having communicated knowledge. There are people who can quote scripture backwards and forwards, yet have never had a true God revelation. A revelation from God is when He becomes SO real to you that there is nothing that will ever stop you from living for Him. I grew up attending church. Even throughout times in my adult life I not only attended church, but was actively involved. All the while, I was still doing things in my life that did not line up with scripture. See, I knew certain things were sin, yet I deliberately chose to continue doing those things. When I say deliberately, I mean I sought out people and situations that would lead me into temptation. Honestly, there were times I lead THEM into temptation. It's not like when you have a thought that is envious and then immediately repent for the thought. My sin involved intentional and deliberate action. How I must have grieved the Holy Spirit!
However, about 14 months ago, I received a God revelation. I can't explain to you in words what happened. I wish I had some magnificent "Jesus showed up in my room in the middle of the night" kind of experience. Then again, maybe in some ways He did. After a bit of a wild streak, I had a "come to myself" kind of moment. It was more one of looking at what I was doing and asking how did my actions line up with what I claimed to believe. The only thing I remember hearing from God at the time was "How much longer are you going to fight me and continue doing this to yourself?"
The hurt I felt was caused by my own choices. Although I wasn't literally cutting myself, my actions were leading to the same kind of pain and remorse. I don't handle rejection very well. After having several men in my life reject me (some in romantic relationships and some in friendships), I reacted by returning to my old lifestyle. It was one that resembled the world. By no means was it what God wants and has planned for me. I know I'm saying a lot to try and get my point across here. The point is that all the preaching, worship music, Christian friendships, life groups, bible reading, etc didn't amount to anything in my life. What made the difference to me, was Jesus suddenly became real. I could see the pain I caused Him. I could feel His sorrow as He saw me and all He wanted for me, yet I was choosing to refuse His blessings.
"And he asked them, "But who do you say that I am?" Peter answered him, "You are the Christ." Mark 8:29
I want to focus on the first part of that scripture. Jesus asked "but who do YOU say that I am?" (emphasis mine). If Jesus asked you that question today, how would you answer? Would it be a rote "you're the Son of God, you died for my sins, so now I can die and live in heaven." While there is truth in that answer, Jesus should be so much more. What He has been for me, He can be for you and even so much more! He's not just the Son of God. While on earth, He was a healer, a preacher, a game-changer, a challenger of culture, a son, a brother, a friend, a confidant, a scholar, a lover of people, a redeemer. He consoled, He challenged, He fed, He inspired, He led, He accepted, He gave grace, and so much more!
All that said....Who do YOU say that He is?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Friday, January 14, 2011
Chasing Dreams
Today is kind of a big day for me. A friend of mine writes a blog and was recently reviewing the book The Dream Giver by Bruce Wilkenson. After reading the book, he was inspired to give his readers the opportunity to guest-blog and share about their dreams. He wants to feature someone every Friday who is pursuing their dreams. Today, he's posted my story.
When I received his email asking to use my submission, I was pretty excited. I knew he had a pretty good reader base and was thinking how cool it was to think a few hundred people could potentially read my writing. Last night I was curious and checked how many followers he had on Twitter to try and gauge just how many readers would have access to my writing. His number almost made me fall off my couch! He has almost 16,000 followers! That means there are that many people who could read about my dream. There are that many people who could either choose to encourage me in that dream or tell me I'm insane. Suddenly I began feeling very vulnerable.
Have you ever felt that way? Have you done something you know beyond a shadow of a doubt is the right thing to do, and then felt "exposed" after you made your decision? It's hard to step out of the ordinary. It's intimidating to be bold in taking action for Christ. You know the minute you do, you are marking yourself as a target for the enemy. At the same time, it's almost an euphoric feeling that comes with it. It's the feeling of knowing you are now starting to live. You start to realize you are doing exactly what God created you for. You aren't doing what your parents or your society expects of you, you are doing what God expects of you.
""He said, 'That's what I mean: Risk your life and get more than you ever dreamed of. Play it safe and end up holding the bag. " Luke 19:26 (MSG)
I don't know about you, but I don't want to play it safe anymore. I don't want to stand at the end of my life "holding the bag." What's in that bag? I imagine it's all the dreams and blessings God wants to lavish on me. However, the only way to truly receive the blessing He has for us is to risk OUR lives. It means trading OUR life plans for the plans HE has for us. What is the dream you have been holding back on? What is the vision He has shown you, but because of the world's opinion or the failures in your past, you have not pursued? Don't end up holding the bag.
**Here is the link to my guest blog post: http://www.facebook.com/l/c4df554ZwFNfV-SaT4yhFWK_mWA;www.liveintentionally.org/2011/01/14/not-my-big-dream-but-his/comment-page-1/#comment-24317
When I received his email asking to use my submission, I was pretty excited. I knew he had a pretty good reader base and was thinking how cool it was to think a few hundred people could potentially read my writing. Last night I was curious and checked how many followers he had on Twitter to try and gauge just how many readers would have access to my writing. His number almost made me fall off my couch! He has almost 16,000 followers! That means there are that many people who could read about my dream. There are that many people who could either choose to encourage me in that dream or tell me I'm insane. Suddenly I began feeling very vulnerable.
Have you ever felt that way? Have you done something you know beyond a shadow of a doubt is the right thing to do, and then felt "exposed" after you made your decision? It's hard to step out of the ordinary. It's intimidating to be bold in taking action for Christ. You know the minute you do, you are marking yourself as a target for the enemy. At the same time, it's almost an euphoric feeling that comes with it. It's the feeling of knowing you are now starting to live. You start to realize you are doing exactly what God created you for. You aren't doing what your parents or your society expects of you, you are doing what God expects of you.
""He said, 'That's what I mean: Risk your life and get more than you ever dreamed of. Play it safe and end up holding the bag. " Luke 19:26 (MSG)
I don't know about you, but I don't want to play it safe anymore. I don't want to stand at the end of my life "holding the bag." What's in that bag? I imagine it's all the dreams and blessings God wants to lavish on me. However, the only way to truly receive the blessing He has for us is to risk OUR lives. It means trading OUR life plans for the plans HE has for us. What is the dream you have been holding back on? What is the vision He has shown you, but because of the world's opinion or the failures in your past, you have not pursued? Don't end up holding the bag.
**Here is the link to my guest blog post: http://www.facebook.com/l/c4df554ZwFNfV-SaT4yhFWK_mWA;www.liveintentionally.org/2011/01/14/not-my-big-dream-but-his/comment-page-1/#comment-24317
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
I Don't Have Time To Maintain These Regrets
Are you maintaining regrets? Is there something in your past that is over and done, yet you relive the event, conversation, or emotions in your mind? Do you find yourself having "if only" thoughts? I think most of us have been there at some point in our lives. We recall defining moments in our lives and when they have not worked out in our favor, we live with the regret of wondering how we could have made things work out differently.
I often find myself going through this process when it comes to failed relationships. It was not until recently that God revealed to me that in most of these failed relationships, they failed not because of what I did or didn't do, but because of the hurt and decisions of the other person. I don't have a track record of choosing healthy relationships. Yet, I was expecting to have healthy results. I could choose to beat myself up for the rest of my life over the mistakes in my past, but what would that accomplish? What these mistakes have taught me is how to choose better. God has shown me how to make healthier emotional and relational choices.
One of absolute favorite worship songs is How He Loves Us. The reason I love this song is primarily for one line in the song. The lyrics says "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us." His love covers all of our past mistakes. His love washes away our regrets. If we are in Him, they are all erased. He remembers them no more, so why do we "maintain" them?
"Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing. Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know of it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19
We serve the God who created the universe. We serve the God who can make a river flow in the desert. If you are maintaining your journey in a wilderness, trust in the One who can make a road out. Don't settle for simply maintaining in a place of your regrets! My prayer for you today is for revelation of areas in your life you have been "maintaining". I pray He reveals to you events, relationships, and conversations that you have been holding onto, but He is waiting to heal. He is ready to do a new thing!
**Here is a link to a great version of the song I mentioned: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps"
I often find myself going through this process when it comes to failed relationships. It was not until recently that God revealed to me that in most of these failed relationships, they failed not because of what I did or didn't do, but because of the hurt and decisions of the other person. I don't have a track record of choosing healthy relationships. Yet, I was expecting to have healthy results. I could choose to beat myself up for the rest of my life over the mistakes in my past, but what would that accomplish? What these mistakes have taught me is how to choose better. God has shown me how to make healthier emotional and relational choices.
One of absolute favorite worship songs is How He Loves Us. The reason I love this song is primarily for one line in the song. The lyrics says "I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way He loves us." His love covers all of our past mistakes. His love washes away our regrets. If we are in Him, they are all erased. He remembers them no more, so why do we "maintain" them?
"Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing. Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know of it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18-19
We serve the God who created the universe. We serve the God who can make a river flow in the desert. If you are maintaining your journey in a wilderness, trust in the One who can make a road out. Don't settle for simply maintaining in a place of your regrets! My prayer for you today is for revelation of areas in your life you have been "maintaining". I pray He reveals to you events, relationships, and conversations that you have been holding onto, but He is waiting to heal. He is ready to do a new thing!
**Here is a link to a great version of the song I mentioned: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps"
Monday, January 3, 2011
Belief on Behavior
My pastor made a statement during yesterday's message that I would like to elaborate on today. He said "behavior changes when belief changes." But what does this really mean? Does it mean our belief in God? Does it mean our belief in the Bible? For years, even while living in a life of blatant sin, I always BELIEVED in God. I always BELIEVED scripture to be the absolute word of God. However, my behavior did not exactly line up with what I claimed to believe. Saying we believe in something does not necessarily mean we are followers or that our behavior matches up with what we believe. At least not when it is our head belief.
Scripture tells us in James 2:19 (NIV): You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder.
Saying we believe in God does not really prove anything. Even the demons believe. Not only do they believe, but they shudder. They recognize the amazing, absolute power of the one true God.
The behavior changes when the belief travels from our heads to our hearts. Our behavior changes when we not only read the word and commands of God, but we read them and realize He is speaking directly to US. My whole life I have been pro-life. Please know I'm not saying this to start a debate or have argumentative emails back debating this issue. I have always believed that no matter what the circumstances from our viewpoint, God is the creator of all life and He does not make any mistakes. I've heard all arguments supporting "choice" and a recurrent one is "you can't legislate morality." True. But we are called to show the love of Christ and to be witnesses for Him. It's by showing this love and it moving into a woman's heart that her morality begins to change. We are not to condone or support what the bible calls immoral. It was this belief in life that even when I became pregnant out of wedlock...twice....that I gave birth to my daughters. I know not everyone made the same choice when faced with the decision and thankfully we serve a God of grace who sees no sin as being worse than another. His grace and forgiveness is available to all who are truly repentant.
The reason my behavior changed is because the belief finally moved from my head to my heart. The prior behavior was a result of the belief that I did not deserve what God told me He had for me in a mate. It led to me compromising myself sexually and finding myself in the place of having to choose life or death for my daughters. Once my heart beliefs changed, I no longer saw a need for inappropriate male attention. I no longer saw a need for drinking alcohol to the point of being drunk. I no longer saw an unlovable single mom of two. I saw a daughter of the King Jesus. I saw the woman He willingly died a brutal death for. I realized the words on the pages of my bible were a love letter written to ME.
God has given me a sometimes burdensome gift of compassion. I see women in situations and instead of seeing the visible, I see what is invisible. I see the little girls they once were, but because of mistreatment by the world, they don't believe they are valuable. The woman walking around in the short skirts with cleavage for days? While many judge her and think "she needs to put some clothes on!", I see a little girl looking for attention in the wrong ways because she has never known love of a pure kind. She doesn't believe in her heart that there is a Daddy in heaven who made her beautiful without the adornments of the world. She has a Daddy who created her for something so much more than what she is settling for. She has a Daddy who is delighted in her when she sees herself as He made her to be.
Maybe she is you. Is your belief in God just in your head or is it in your heart? Do you read scripture and think "that's great, but it's not for me. I've already sinned to much." If so, then you are exactly who He is looking to use. You are exactly who He came to save. God is ready for you to see yourself as He made you to be. Your Daddy is waiting on you to grow your belief.
Scripture tells us in James 2:19 (NIV): You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that--and shudder.
Saying we believe in God does not really prove anything. Even the demons believe. Not only do they believe, but they shudder. They recognize the amazing, absolute power of the one true God.
The behavior changes when the belief travels from our heads to our hearts. Our behavior changes when we not only read the word and commands of God, but we read them and realize He is speaking directly to US. My whole life I have been pro-life. Please know I'm not saying this to start a debate or have argumentative emails back debating this issue. I have always believed that no matter what the circumstances from our viewpoint, God is the creator of all life and He does not make any mistakes. I've heard all arguments supporting "choice" and a recurrent one is "you can't legislate morality." True. But we are called to show the love of Christ and to be witnesses for Him. It's by showing this love and it moving into a woman's heart that her morality begins to change. We are not to condone or support what the bible calls immoral. It was this belief in life that even when I became pregnant out of wedlock...twice....that I gave birth to my daughters. I know not everyone made the same choice when faced with the decision and thankfully we serve a God of grace who sees no sin as being worse than another. His grace and forgiveness is available to all who are truly repentant.
The reason my behavior changed is because the belief finally moved from my head to my heart. The prior behavior was a result of the belief that I did not deserve what God told me He had for me in a mate. It led to me compromising myself sexually and finding myself in the place of having to choose life or death for my daughters. Once my heart beliefs changed, I no longer saw a need for inappropriate male attention. I no longer saw a need for drinking alcohol to the point of being drunk. I no longer saw an unlovable single mom of two. I saw a daughter of the King Jesus. I saw the woman He willingly died a brutal death for. I realized the words on the pages of my bible were a love letter written to ME.
God has given me a sometimes burdensome gift of compassion. I see women in situations and instead of seeing the visible, I see what is invisible. I see the little girls they once were, but because of mistreatment by the world, they don't believe they are valuable. The woman walking around in the short skirts with cleavage for days? While many judge her and think "she needs to put some clothes on!", I see a little girl looking for attention in the wrong ways because she has never known love of a pure kind. She doesn't believe in her heart that there is a Daddy in heaven who made her beautiful without the adornments of the world. She has a Daddy who created her for something so much more than what she is settling for. She has a Daddy who is delighted in her when she sees herself as He made her to be.
Maybe she is you. Is your belief in God just in your head or is it in your heart? Do you read scripture and think "that's great, but it's not for me. I've already sinned to much." If so, then you are exactly who He is looking to use. You are exactly who He came to save. God is ready for you to see yourself as He made you to be. Your Daddy is waiting on you to grow your belief.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
2010 Reflection
As most people do today, I've been evaluating the last year of my life. If you had told me on January 1 what my life would look like today, December 31, I would have laughed at you. If you told me I would be writing this devotional twice a week, I would have laughed at you. If you told me I would share my testimony in front of a group of women I mostly did not know, I would have laughed at you. If you told me I would quit my job at the prompting of God without a "plan B" for income, I would have cried laughing at you. If you told me I would be leading a group of homeless people in devotionals once a month, I would have laughed at you. If you told me I would be single and CONTENT, I would have raised my eyebrows, but probably not laugh because who wants THAT status?
The change in my life is not that YOU told me all of these things, it's that GOD did. He told me to leave. He told me to be satisfied in my love with Him. He guided me to the people who ran the homeless ministry and opened the door for me to impart encouragement into their lives. It was God who told me I would be speaking and writing so when those opportunities arose, I was prepared to answer "yes".
The difference in 2010 and the years of my life prior to this year is I was willing to trade my plans for His. In January, I told God "whatever you want this year God. It's not about me anymore. I want it to be all about You." What is on your resolutions list this year? Do you have a list of several things? Are the items the usual lose weight (which I definitely need to do!), read the Bible more, or exercise regularly? Maybe it's not yell at the kids or clean the house more. I challenge you all to shorten your list to one item. The only thing that will cover all of your life is to say "Whatever you want God." When you say this and mean it 100%, it's an absolutely terrifying thing. What God wants is usually not the same as what we want. However, I promise you that if you make this "resolution", you will look back on December 31, 2011 and you too will be amazed at the changes He has made in your life.
"We are saved by trusting. And trusting means looking forward to getting something we don't yet have - for a man who already has something doesn't need to hope and trust that he will get it. But if we must keep trusting God for something that hasn't happened yet, it teaches us to wait patiently and confidently." Romans 8:24-25 The Living Bible
This year, I pray for you to trust. Trust like a child trusts it's parent. Trust in Him that His ways are greater than the world's. Trust in His plan to work all things together for your good.
The change in my life is not that YOU told me all of these things, it's that GOD did. He told me to leave. He told me to be satisfied in my love with Him. He guided me to the people who ran the homeless ministry and opened the door for me to impart encouragement into their lives. It was God who told me I would be speaking and writing so when those opportunities arose, I was prepared to answer "yes".
The difference in 2010 and the years of my life prior to this year is I was willing to trade my plans for His. In January, I told God "whatever you want this year God. It's not about me anymore. I want it to be all about You." What is on your resolutions list this year? Do you have a list of several things? Are the items the usual lose weight (which I definitely need to do!), read the Bible more, or exercise regularly? Maybe it's not yell at the kids or clean the house more. I challenge you all to shorten your list to one item. The only thing that will cover all of your life is to say "Whatever you want God." When you say this and mean it 100%, it's an absolutely terrifying thing. What God wants is usually not the same as what we want. However, I promise you that if you make this "resolution", you will look back on December 31, 2011 and you too will be amazed at the changes He has made in your life.
"We are saved by trusting. And trusting means looking forward to getting something we don't yet have - for a man who already has something doesn't need to hope and trust that he will get it. But if we must keep trusting God for something that hasn't happened yet, it teaches us to wait patiently and confidently." Romans 8:24-25 The Living Bible
This year, I pray for you to trust. Trust like a child trusts it's parent. Trust in Him that His ways are greater than the world's. Trust in His plan to work all things together for your good.
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