The Day I Realized I am a Mom of Three

From the very first day I met my stepdaughter, she has called me Mom. Her dad has had custody of her since she was a baby and she had prayed for years for a Mommy. It seemed natural for her to call me Mom from the very beginning. For me to call her my daughter was a bit of a different story.

If I can be honest, the only children I care for are children that are my own. There are some rare exceptions, but for the most part I don't like other people's children. This is why you won't see me volunteering in children's ministry any time soon. If you need someone to hang out with drug addicts, prostitutes, alcoholics, etc and I'm the first to volunteer. If you need someone to stay with a bunch of 6 year olds, then you will find me quickly missing. Children really are not my calling.

With that confession made, I really had to ask for God's help in being a Mom to my husband's daughter. I've made a very conscious effort to treat her the same as the two children who are my offspring. For almost six months now, she has called me Mom and I have referred to her as my daughter.

Today I learned that calling someone something and feeling someone IS something, are two completely different things. My youngest child left today to spend two weeks with her mom. It is the longest she's been away from her dad in her entire life. As I got into the car to go to work this morning I realized she might not be home when I returned. So I came back in the house to give her a hug and a kiss goodbye even though she was sleeping. She woke up and asked the day of the week and immediately became excited because she knew it was the day she would go to her mom's house. As I was hugging her I had to quickly leave because I suddenly, and unexpectedly, became very emotional.

I realized I felt about her the very same way I would feel about my two older daughters if they were leaving me for two weeks. I realized I would worry and miss her in the same way as if I had given birth to her. I realized I would miss her little annoying habits and how quiet it would be without her singing all the time.

I realized she is my daughter.

"Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ Himself, according to the kind intention of His will."

Ephesians 1:4-5

While I may not be the woman who gave birth to my stepdaughter, I know God predestined her to be my daughter. How much greater must God's love be for us? Before the foundation of the earth, we have been chosen. No matter how long it has been since we "met" Him, we can call him Daddy. Just like my daughter saw me as her Mom from the very first day, we can call Him Daddy from the moment we accept Him into our lives. While you may know this in your head, have you allowed the emotion of it to drop into your heart?

How Do You Trust Again?

Trust is a crazy thing. When we are younger, we have to trust others in order to survive. We don't even realize we are trusting another person, it just happens naturally. However, as we grow older, we realize trust is not always a guarantee of someone upholding their responsibility. What happens over time is our ability to trust diminishes. As much as we want to trust others, our past disappointments cause us to question everything or doubt others will do what they've promised to do.

Broken trust in relationships has damaging effects. Sadly, it is usually not the person that broke the trust that pays the price of the let down, but the person who comes after the one who was untrustworthy. This is by far the greatest issue I have had to face within marriage. I spent many years single because I was not ready to trust anyone with my heart. I prayed many times asking God to heal me of the wounds others had inflicted through abandonment and abuse. When it comes to our issues, it is easy for us to think we have healed.....until we have to face our issues head on. When you are single, you don't have to trust anyone. Within marriage, trust is everything.

So the dilemma for me now really isn't about trusting my husband. It comes down to asking myself, "Do I trust God?" I know I do. I've trusted Him many times when making decisions that make little or no sense to me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt He told me to marry the man who is now my husband. I had, and still have, peace about that decision. And yet, that doesn't mean doubt will not still creep into my mind. I will see or hear things and due to my past, my perception of these things will cause me to question what I'm seeing. While it is important to move on from our pasts, it is also the things from our past that can cloud our perception and judgement.

The question that remains is this: How do we move forward? I wish I had an easy answer. I don't. When it comes to trusting again, there is nothing easy about the process. Trust involves risk. It involves allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It means you have to believe in the goodness of another person enough to let them into the places you have kept locked. It means seeking God often to remember where your trust ultimately lies. It is remembering Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

If you've overcome trust issues, I would love to hear from you! How did you learn to trust again? 

Murder Freshly Baked: An Amish Village Mystery by Vannetta Chapman

This story is about a group of friends who live in an Amish Village in Indiana. Some of the characters are Amish, while others are English. Threats of poisoning lead to a murder and the friends are in pursuit of finding the killer. The murder happens in the beginning of the book and then we are taken back in time to walk through the events leading up to the murder.

I found the story line entertaining more for it's element of friendship, faith, and healing than for its' suspense factor. It appears this is the third book in a series, so it took me a while to remember which character was being described. Frequent references are made to past events, which I assume took place in the previous books. If you've read the other books in the series, then this is not much of a problem. However, if just jumping into the story, it can be a little confusing. I enjoyed the storyline of the character Preston, a post war vet suffering from PTSD who finds healing through a service dog. There are several subplots within the story that are great examples of living out faith in God. I recommend this book as a casual read, but you might want to read the previous books in the series first. 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

More Than Lip Service

As I have been reading the book of Isaiah it has struck me how angry God can become. We hear so many messages of God's love, grace, and forgiveness that we can forget all those things come only through the blood of Jesus. Or maybe it was just my own forgetfulness. Isaiah is full of warnings to the rebellious of the destruction awaiting them for their actions. It is easy for us to point the finger at those outside the church as being condemned, but God's word of warning is often directed to those who call themselves believers. 

"The Lord said: Because these people approach Me with their mouths to honor Me with lip-service--yet their hearts are far from Me, and their worship consists of man-made rules learned by rote--therefore I will again confound these people with wonder after wonder. The wisdom of their wise men will vanish, and the understanding of the perceptive will be hidden." Isaiah 29:13-14

This was not given as a warning to those worshiping pagan gods. This was to those who were approaching God! God is not mocked (Gal 6:7). He knows the conditions of our hearts when we approach Him. He knows when our hearts are sincere and when we are simply going through the motions. If our worship is learned by routine, then are we truly worshiping? Shouldn't worship be an extension of God speaking to us and us responding to Him? If our worship follows the same pattern day after day and week after week, then has it become routine? Do we raise our hands out of surrender or simply because we go to a church where people raise their hands? If nobody else was raising their hands, yet we were moved to worship in that way, would we go with whatever is "acceptable" in the current environment or what our heart is prompting? If every worship set at church is exactly 28 minutes long, then haven't we become routine? 

God is very clear in the above verse of the consequences of becoming fake in our walk. Wisdom will vanish! It is no big secret wisdom is lacking not just in our culture in general, but also in the church. Not only is the world a fatherless generation, but the church is lacking spiritual fathers also. Fathers love, but they also discipline. Fathers aren't concerned with being liked as much as they are concerned with teaching Godly instruction. Fathers make decisions not based on what is good for themselves, but what is best for the family. Fathers pray for their children and encourage them to be what God created them to be and not just what they need them to be to further their own agenda. Fathers lead by example not just words. 

Here is another warning found in Isaiah 30:1-3

"Woe to the rebellious children! This is the Lord's declaration. They carry out a plan, but not Mine, they make an alliance, but against My will, piling sin on top of sin. They set out to go down to Egypt without asking My advice, in order to seek shelter under Pharaoh's protection and take refuge in Egypt's shadow. But Pharaoh's protection will become your shame, and refuge in Egypt's shadow your disgrace."

As I reflect over my life and the choices I've made I see how many of my plans I carried out with no regard to God. I lived in direct rebellion to Him and then had the nerve to ask Him to bless what I was doing in rebellion! How often do we live in a way we know is not God's will, but pray for Him to bless what He never chose for us? Yes, God can work all things out for His glory, but I've found it usually doesn't look the way we think it will. I've met men that were decent men, yet I knew in my spirit they were leading me away from my relationship with Christ. Any time something or someone will lead you to stumble in your walk or to sin, it is NOT part of God's plan for your life. Just as the verse above mentions, one sin usually leads to another. Think of the number of abortions happening every day as the result of sexual sin. This may seem an extreme example, but it's a true one. In order to hide the sin of sex outside of marriage, we seek out the sin of murder. And because of our lack of wisdom (see first verse given) we even tell ourselves it's not murder. 

We seek shelter and protection (things of comfort) in things of the world rather than in relationship with Christ. Those things of worldly comfort will always become our shame and disgrace. Comfort in the arms of someone who is not our spouse will lead to a fall. The same is true of drugs, alcohol, and anything else that is not honoring to God. 

I've gone down this road to remind all of us how important it is to be covered by the blood of Christ. Not only to accept Him personally, but to walk the walk and not simply talk the talk. "Woe to those who go to great lengths to hide their plans from the Lord! (Isaiah 29:15) There is nothing hidden from Him! We can put up a front to everyone else, but God sees it all. Not only our actions, but the motivation in our hearts behind the actions. I challenge each of you to spend some time reading Isaiah. It's great to read the encouraging verses and definitely less painful than reading the ones full of rebuke. However, love does not exist where there is no correction. What area of your life does God need to correct today? 

Don't Be Deceived

"Be careful that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deceit based on human tradition, based on the elemental forces of the world, and not based on Christ. For in Him the entire fullness of God's nature dwells bodily, and you have been filled by Him, who is the head over every ruler and authority." 

Colossians 2:8-10

In our age of scientific advancement, it is easy for us to begin to think we know everything. Or perhaps we recognize we lack knowledge in some areas, but we know just enough to be dangerous. Not dangerous to others, but dangerous to ourselves. I know I have been guilty of seeking knowledge instead of Godly wisdom. What I've found is the more book or world knowledge I gained, the less I turned to God for His help and guidance. I neglect to seek His word regarding simple matters. In my genius moments, I think I know more than Him. The reality is, I know absolutely nothing. 

The wisdom and information of the world is usually not very challenging. God's word challenges. The world tells me to do what feels good. God tells me to do what is good for me. The world says my body is a playground and meant to be used. God tells me my body is a temple and a place for His Spirit to dwell. The world tells me to pursue happiness. God tells me peace and joy are fruits of the Spirit only found through Him. The world says you should fit in with the crowd. God says we are to be a strange and peculiar people. The world says go with the flow so others will like you. Jesus said we will be persecuted just as He was.

What influences your beliefs? Do you abide by biblical standards or do your values mold to fit the current cultural standard? Have you sought God's opinion on popular matters or do you turn to news and entertainment to determine what is acceptable and true? Do you allow Christ to be the final authority on what is "right?" If the Holy Spirit lives in you, then shouldn't your values and opinions reflect His Spirit?

Our world is full of influences contrary to scripture. Hold fast to God's word even in the face of cultural pressure to compromise. Just because popular opinion says something does not make it true. It was popular opinion that killed Jesus. The crowds are often wrong.