How do you deal with offense? I'm getting straight to the point today because this is s topic that has been on my mind lately. As a very non-confrontational person, it's sometimes easy for me to become offended. I'm pretty sure most of the time, the offender does not even know they have offended me! Satan loves to use offense as a weapon against us. This is ESPECIALLY true when it comes to the church body and those who are working for the Kingdom.
Just as in any community, there are many different types of personalities within the church. There are people who don't care about the "fluff", they just want the details and to get straight to the point. To a person who is free-spirited, the bluntness of the other person can cause offense. One personality thinks the other lazy or incapable of accomplishing a task (because they are easily distracted), while the other personality finds the details person to be rude for not wanting to hear all the glorious descriptions of the subject at hand.
What about offense within a marriage? I close friend of mine has been married for a long time...decades. Her and her husband are experiencing some pretty rough times and are trying to work things out. In my conversations with her, many of the examples she has given of hurt go back over a dozen years. What I see is what happens when offense is buried and not dealt with in a healthy way. The hurt and pain of the transgression does not simply disappear. It's buried deep inside like a splinter that gets pushed beneath the skin. If not removed immediately, the wound begins to fester and an infection spreads throughout the whole body, or in this case soul and marriage. Until the offenses, both past and present, are dealt with, healing will not be able to occur.
The enemy knows relationships are the greatest weapon we have in advancing the Kingdom of God. Its friendships that help to motivate us and hold us accountable and marriages that represent God's covenant with us and lead to producing children who will be warriors for Christ.
"A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle." Proverbs 18:19
If we are unyielding, we cannot be transformed from what we were to what God wants us to be. If we are trapped within the prison of offense, we cannot grow and neither can our relationships. Don't allow the enemy to poison your mind and soul by harboring offense. Even if you are a non-confrontational person like me, you can take your wounds of offense to the throne and ask God to heal the pain buried within. You'll be amazed at the work He will do in YOU through the process!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Love?
I've been thinking about love lately. I have been thinking about what it means to truly love another person. When we "fall" in love, it's exciting. There is the possibility that this person is the ONE we have been praying we would find. I have also been thinking of love in the context of what happens years down the road after we have made that person our ONE.
I've always heard love described as a feeling, but it is truly so much more. When we fall in love with someone, it's in large part because of how that person makes us feel. They make us feel valued. All of us have a desire to know there is someone on this planet that is thinking of us and wants to spend time with us. I believe this feeling is the same whether we are in week three of dating or year thirty of marriage. As women, we want to know there is someone who is willing to stand up for us. We long for a protector and leader.
What happens when these needs are not being met? This is where loneliness, bitterness, and temptation can enter. This is where satan can manipulate what God has joined together. When one person is no longer feeling valued by their partner, it opens the door for a myriad of thoughts and emotions. Love is so much more action than feeling. It's our actions as well as the actions of our mate. Most of us are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 since it is the most popular scripture on love. I want to look at it in The Message translation with my comments in parentheses:
"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up. (meaning it never quits!)
Love cares more for others than for self. (love is not about us, it's about wanting to put someone else's desires before our own)
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. (we are content with what God has given to us. We do not become jealous for the relationship God has given to another)
Love doesn't strut, (love is not about a public display)
Doesn't have a swelled head, (pride has no room in a relationship)
Doesn't force itself on others, (when genuine, love is natural. It is not something we can will to happen)
Isn't always "me first," (we want the other person to feel valued and that their thoughts and feelings are important)
Doesn't fly off the handle, (we do not become uncontrollably angry with those we love)
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, (remember three years ago when you said _____? Yeah, love doesn't do that)
Doesn't revel when others grovel, (if your mate is apologizing, you don't say "I told you so! Love accepts repentance)
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always, (we have to trust God to work in our mate and more importantly, in US!)
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."
If you are in a relationship now, I pray for you to contemplate on these verses and what they mean to you. Let's not read them from the perspective of "HE isn't doing these things", but from the perspective of asking ourselves how many we are doing. Do things have to always be our way or do we allow him to be the leader in our home? Are we able to respect his decisions even when we don't agree with them? Do we show him honor for all he does for us? Are our words encouraging or degrading to him? Are we building him up or tearing him down? I pray against any foothold the enemy may have on your relationships/marriages. I pray for love to grow and abound in both you and your mate so your relationship can be a testimony and witness for God!
I've always heard love described as a feeling, but it is truly so much more. When we fall in love with someone, it's in large part because of how that person makes us feel. They make us feel valued. All of us have a desire to know there is someone on this planet that is thinking of us and wants to spend time with us. I believe this feeling is the same whether we are in week three of dating or year thirty of marriage. As women, we want to know there is someone who is willing to stand up for us. We long for a protector and leader.
What happens when these needs are not being met? This is where loneliness, bitterness, and temptation can enter. This is where satan can manipulate what God has joined together. When one person is no longer feeling valued by their partner, it opens the door for a myriad of thoughts and emotions. Love is so much more action than feeling. It's our actions as well as the actions of our mate. Most of us are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13:1-7 since it is the most popular scripture on love. I want to look at it in The Message translation with my comments in parentheses:
"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love.
Love never gives up. (meaning it never quits!)
Love cares more for others than for self. (love is not about us, it's about wanting to put someone else's desires before our own)
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have. (we are content with what God has given to us. We do not become jealous for the relationship God has given to another)
Love doesn't strut, (love is not about a public display)
Doesn't have a swelled head, (pride has no room in a relationship)
Doesn't force itself on others, (when genuine, love is natural. It is not something we can will to happen)
Isn't always "me first," (we want the other person to feel valued and that their thoughts and feelings are important)
Doesn't fly off the handle, (we do not become uncontrollably angry with those we love)
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others, (remember three years ago when you said _____? Yeah, love doesn't do that)
Doesn't revel when others grovel, (if your mate is apologizing, you don't say "I told you so! Love accepts repentance)
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always, (we have to trust God to work in our mate and more importantly, in US!)
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end."
If you are in a relationship now, I pray for you to contemplate on these verses and what they mean to you. Let's not read them from the perspective of "HE isn't doing these things", but from the perspective of asking ourselves how many we are doing. Do things have to always be our way or do we allow him to be the leader in our home? Are we able to respect his decisions even when we don't agree with them? Do we show him honor for all he does for us? Are our words encouraging or degrading to him? Are we building him up or tearing him down? I pray against any foothold the enemy may have on your relationships/marriages. I pray for love to grow and abound in both you and your mate so your relationship can be a testimony and witness for God!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Shaken
"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you" Isaiah 54:10
This verse is on my mind this morning as I'm reading all the news reports about the earthquake in Japan. As warnings are issued to countries around the world in preparation for tsunamis, I can't help but think of how we all have "shaking" in our lives. For thousands (or millions) today, it has been a literal shaking. However, almost all of us are experiencing or have experienced an emotional or metaphorical shaking at some point in our lives.
Perhaps its the loss of a loved one. Whether it's an expected loss or unexpected, the loss if felt all the same. It could be the loss of a friendship or relationship. What was our "normal" is now in upheaval. For many it's the loss of a job, either voluntarily or involuntarily.
The world around us is anything but stable. If you read every news story about a random crime, you would be terrified to ever leave your house. Actually, that wouldn't matter because someone could decide they want what you have and come into your home. In such crazy times, how do we maintain any peace? When upheaval and shaking is occurring in your life, how does your heart remain still? It's because of the Isaiah 54 God we serve.
Even when everything around us is in turmoil, be it finances, relationships, the world in general; God is not shaken. NOTHING happens that can cause Him to be moved in His love for us. His peace that He promises can remain in us no matter what the circumstances.
Isaiah tells us that not only does God say this, but the God who has COMPASSION on us says this. If you've ever seen a person showing compassion, you know you can see it all over their face. You can look in their eyes and see the emotions they are feeling. I imagine God has this same look in His eyes when He looks on us in our suffering. When our world is shaking, His heart is overflowing with love and compassion. His arms are open to hold us like a father holds His child. When we were little, we knew there was no safer place than in our daddy's arms (if we had good relationships with our dads). If our two year old world was upset, a few minutes cuddling on daddy's lap would make it all better. I want to remind you today how that is still true. If your world is being shaken, remember your Daddy who is waiting to hold you.
This verse is on my mind this morning as I'm reading all the news reports about the earthquake in Japan. As warnings are issued to countries around the world in preparation for tsunamis, I can't help but think of how we all have "shaking" in our lives. For thousands (or millions) today, it has been a literal shaking. However, almost all of us are experiencing or have experienced an emotional or metaphorical shaking at some point in our lives.
Perhaps its the loss of a loved one. Whether it's an expected loss or unexpected, the loss if felt all the same. It could be the loss of a friendship or relationship. What was our "normal" is now in upheaval. For many it's the loss of a job, either voluntarily or involuntarily.
The world around us is anything but stable. If you read every news story about a random crime, you would be terrified to ever leave your house. Actually, that wouldn't matter because someone could decide they want what you have and come into your home. In such crazy times, how do we maintain any peace? When upheaval and shaking is occurring in your life, how does your heart remain still? It's because of the Isaiah 54 God we serve.
Even when everything around us is in turmoil, be it finances, relationships, the world in general; God is not shaken. NOTHING happens that can cause Him to be moved in His love for us. His peace that He promises can remain in us no matter what the circumstances.
Isaiah tells us that not only does God say this, but the God who has COMPASSION on us says this. If you've ever seen a person showing compassion, you know you can see it all over their face. You can look in their eyes and see the emotions they are feeling. I imagine God has this same look in His eyes when He looks on us in our suffering. When our world is shaking, His heart is overflowing with love and compassion. His arms are open to hold us like a father holds His child. When we were little, we knew there was no safer place than in our daddy's arms (if we had good relationships with our dads). If our two year old world was upset, a few minutes cuddling on daddy's lap would make it all better. I want to remind you today how that is still true. If your world is being shaken, remember your Daddy who is waiting to hold you.
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