The Reason for my Hope by Billy Graham

In “The Reason for my Hope,” Billy Graham does an excellent job detailing the reason why Jesus is the hope He claimed to be for each of us. Graham provides scriptural reference and evidence of why his hope has been in Christ and Christ alone. This book is great for someone looking for an immensely broken down, detailed explanation for why our hope should be placed in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I found this book interesting and a great resource to have on hand for someone who is seeking the truth of Christ. I was not challenged much by this book selection, but I believe that can be attributed to where I am in my walk in faith. If you are seeking more information about Christ or are a new believer and looking to strengthen your faith, then I highly recommend this book. If you are a more mature believe, then this is still a good read as it will give you great material to use in sharing your faith and the reason for your beliefs. It is also an excellent gift for your loved ones who are not believers in the deity of Christ.  

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html

15 Years and 9 Months

Most people say the day their first child was born was the day they became a mother or a father. I’ve said this myself in the past. However, today as my oldest daughter turns 15, it occurred to me I didn’t become a mother 15 years ago today. I became a mother 15 years and 9 months ago. From the moment of her conception I was protecting, nourishing, and providing for her. Even before I knew she was being knit together in my womb, I was her mother.

Many would say I gave her life, but the reality is it was Kiara who gave life to me. At the time I was 21 and fully living the life the world tells every 21 year old they should be living. I was in a club several nights a week and doing what young people (and sadly many not so young people) do. My life had no direction, purpose, or meaning. My mom had been diagnosed with cancer and my relationship with my father was estranged. I lived 1,000 miles away from most of my family. Whatever I chose to do was my business and nobody else’s. At least that was how I viewed my life. That all changed one morning in June of 1998.

When I took the test to determine if I was pregnant I was doing it as a way of ruling out the reason I wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t actually expect I was pregnant. I had experienced several pregnancy “scares” before and to be honest, when this test returned a positive result, my first thought was, ‘This test must be wrong. None of the others ever showed this.” The thought lasted about 5 seconds before it occurred to me this one was different because this time I  was pregnant. The emotions I felt were overwhelming.

Kiara’s father and I had dated for a while, but had recently broken up. How was I supposed to tell someone I was no longer dating that I was pregnant with their child? My mom was fighting cancer. How could I put another burden on her? The closest family member was an hour away so I knew I would not have the physical support of family that many women have. I lived in Boston with two male roommates. How would they feel about a baby being in the house? Even with all these circumstances I knew this life I carried was special. I knew she was precious and God had decided to send her to earth at this particular time for a reason.

There were people close to me who strongly encouraged an abortion. My life situation was pointed out to me and my ability to be a mother was questioned. How would I raise a child when my own life was a mess? I was told to have a child at this point in my life would be selfish. I knew from the beginning I would be a single mom. Was I ready for everything that would entail? In spite of all the arguments against my decision, I chose life.

I believe my own experiences with pregnancy and motherhood are one of the reasons I’m so passionately pro-life. I’ve twice seen how God can move greatly through an “unplanned” pregnancy. I have personally experienced the feeling of being alone in parenting. I know what it is like to have others encourage you to abort. I know the stigma that comes along with being the woman in church with two kids, by two different men, who has never been married.  I’ve had to tell my parents and family of pregnancy knowing how disappointed they would be in me. Not just once, but twice. But I also cannot begin to imagine my life without these two precious girls.

I have witnessed how God places people into our lives at just the right season. While some encouraged me to abort, there were others (even men) who stepped up to encourage me and hold my hand (sometimes literally). There was a male friend who went with me for my ultrasound so I wouldn’t have to be alone. He was also there in the room when she was born. It is why her middle name is his last name. His friendship during those months is what helped carry me through a very trying and difficult time. My mom lived long enough to see Kiara once. She died about a month after meeting her. I truly believe she fought cancer as long as she did so she would be able to meet her. Her first comment on holding her was, “Wow. She’s so beautiful.”

Kiara was only 3 months old when Mom died.  I can’t imagine how my life might have spiraled out of control during this time if Kiara had not been in my life. I had to get up every morning. I had to go to work now. I had to continue living when parts of me wanted to die along with my mom. In fact, in the year my mom passed, 4 of her 5 children had babies and the 5^th had her first grandchild. God’s timing is always perfect and nothing restores hope like a newborn child.

So here we are 15 years later. Kiara is still beautiful. She has an outer beauty that everyone can see, but her inner beauty is absolutely breathtaking. She has more compassion than most teens I’ve ever met. She definitely has more than I had at 15! I love her unique style and tastes. Even as a toddler others described her as “marching to her own drum” and I love that as she has matured that is a quality that has not changed. When she was about 10 she asked to serve in the children’s ministry at church just because an autistic little boy was in the class and she adored him. I was once told by a leader of the class that Kiara knew how to interact with him in ways most adults did not. Whenever we are uptown she asks about the homeless man who stays in front of the building where I used to work. I’ve seen her selfishly give up her bedroom when needed for a woman to stay a night or two who is coming out of a trafficking situation. She’s helped babysit for women who work in the strip clubs. When Olivia was born she was the one who cut the umbilical cord. It was the day before she turned 7 and she said it was the best birthday present ever. She came to visit on her birthday and while holding Olivia started singing, “Jesus Loves Me” to her. She was mothering Olivia from the very beginning!  

She loves Sherlock, Doctor Who, and all things Marvel. I give her a hard time about it, but she hugs me more times a day than I can count. As she is transitioning from my first baby girl into a young woman, I couldn’t be more proud or in love with her. When I was pregnant with her, God showed her to me in a dream. When she was born she was identical to the baby I saw in my dreams. I know God showed her to me because she is uniquely created and has a special purpose and call on her life.

The greatest miracle in all this is that I get to be her mom. Thank you, God for allowing me to be a part of this beautiful young woman’s life. Thank you that out of all the women on the planet, you chose me to give birth to her. Thank you, God that I chose life when many would not have blamed me for choosing abortion. Thank you, God that you have been with us every step of the way as we both have grown and matured.

Thank you God that for 15 years and 9 months I’ve been Kiara’s mom. 

Fly Little Bird

This morning as I was driving a bird flew next to my car. It wasn't a bird with bright colors. It was actually quite drab. Nothing about the appearance of this bird stood out in the way perhaps a Cardinal would.  However, despite it's seemingly unattractive appearance, this bird was still flying. I know you are probably thinking I'm stating the obvious because most birds do, indeed, fly. This bird wasn't doing anything other than what came naturally because God created this type of bird to fly. And yet, how many of us never get off the ground because we are more focused on not looking like the "beautiful" people than on what God has created us to do. (*I'm speaking from personal experience here).

Is there something deep in your spirit you know you were created to do and yet you feel your appearance disqualifies you from your calling? For many it's an issue of weight. Or perhaps you feel you are too short or too tall. For some it is they are not the least bit interested in dressing in the latest fashions. Some feel their race limits them. Maybe you have a disfigurement or physical handicap. The list of possible "limitations" is endless. Sadly, many of these limitations have been perpetuated not only by the world, but also within the church. In an effort to keep all things in line with a particular appearance, many have been "disqualified" from their calling simply because they do not fit a desired mold or look.

My precious friend, that was never God's intention for you when you were created! The beauty of humanity is each and every one of us is different. We are different shapes, sizes, colors and we all have different preferences in clothing, music, etc. We should never allow these differences to prevent us from "flying" in our call from God. If you are somewhere that is stifling your gifting because you are different than the norm in that place, then I challenge you to leave. Somewhere there are people who are waiting for YOU. Not the you that you are pretending to be, but the YOU that was created before the formation of the world. The YOU that God painted in the masterpiece of His mind and fashioned carefully with His hand. Don't fall for the lie that it is just your "issue" if you are feeling less than others while in a certain environment. Oftentimes the very ones who are saying it's our "issue" are the very ones encouraging everyone to fit the mold.

Read God's word and ask Him to reveal to you who He made you to be. What has He called you to do in your walk here on earth? As we mature there will be things He will show us that need to be changed. However, in your transformation process be sure it is God doing the changing and not the will or opinion of man. Don't resign yourself to staying camouflaged in the tree of life when you were created to fly.


Update: Several hours after writing this post I saw the following video. I pray it blesses you as much as it blessed me. It illustrates my point so well.