The Good, The Bad, and the Grace of God by Jep & Jessica Robertson

This selection is the story of two well known stars of reality television and all the details you don't see on the small screen. Written from the perspective only they can give, their own, they share stories from childhood through how they met and the struggles they experienced along the way. They also share how their faith in Christ played a role in their lives and made them who they are today.

I appreciated the honesty shared by Jep and Jessica throughout the book, even when the truth was not "pretty." Their transparency in sharing their testimony is inspirational and encouraging. There were things about them I never would have imagined just from watching Duck Dynasty. Their story is a reminder that what you see in someone's life is not necessarily what they have been through and you should never assume someone's life has been easy based on what you see in their current situation. I recommend this selection if you want to see how a couple can work through issues in their marriage and not just survive, but thrive.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Sometimes You Lose to Gain

My dad had part of his leg amputated this week. I know this doesn't directly concern me, yet I've had to deal with my share of emotions surrounding this change in his life. Over the last several years he has had 8 surgeries on the same leg due to blood clots and other issues. We visited him a couple weeks ago for his birthday and he said there would be no more surgeries if the problem arose again. He knew amputation was the next option. Several days after we left, his leg began hurting again. Even though I knew what was going to happen, I've had to deal with a roller coaster of emotions. The biggest being the knowledge my dad will never "walk" me down the aisle. My husband and I were married in January, but are planning a ceremony and reception for the fall. My dad mentioned several times how he wanted to walk me down the aisle. That is no longer possible. In fact, based on the date we have picked out and the rehab time for him, he may not be able to be there at all.

Then there is the change in how I see my dad. I know as our parents get older, how they are and how we think of them doesn't always align. My dad has always been one of the strongest (and most stubborn) people I've ever known. He was a Marine. And not just any Marine. He's a 20 year, served in Vietnam driving a tank and earned a Purple Heart Marine. For him to admit he's in extreme pain means he is in a LOT of pain.

Today I received a picture of my dad's new leg...or lack of. I asked how he was handling the change and I was told, "It doesn't hurt anymore." This brought tears as I thought of how true this is for much of our life. In order to find healing, sometimes we have to lose, or cut, something off. The pain of keeping something, or even someone, can be so great the only way to not be in pain is to be willing to let go. It may not be something as extreme as a limb. Perhaps it's a friendship. Or a job. Sometimes it's letting go of a dream or pursuit if the pursuit is causing pain and misery. What once was good, is no longer good, but infected and if not treated or removed could bring death.

Lately I've been feeling God has been telling me it is time to let go of some things in my life that at one time were good and useful, but now bring stress and pain to my life. While they may not bring a physical death, if I continue to hold on to them, they could bring a spiritual and emotional death. Hearing the statement from my dad of how, "It doesn't hurt anymore," has confirmed it is time to let go of certain things. Instead of stressing over the, "But what about this...." type of questions I've been asking God, I know it is time to trust Him again. There are changes happening that don't make sense to me, and yet I know they are from God. The peace is found only in the losing.

Have you had to let go of something in order to find healing? Is there something in your life causing pain and sickness and God is telling you it's time to let it go. I pray He gives you peace to trust Him and let go. Even though it may cause a limp, it's worth not living in pain anymore.

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. 

Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? 

I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." 

Isaiah 43:18-19

I've set up a Tupperware fundraiser for my Dad. 40% of all purchases will be donated to help him in remodeling the bathroom in his home. You can visit http://www.tupperware.com/?fundraiser=55d649b7a0da73531f7bae74 to shop the fundraiser. 

Truly Repentant

For most of my life I thought I was repentant for the sin in my life. However, as I look back I am realizing what I felt was not true repentance, but rather regret. By definition, regret means to feel sad or disappointed over something that has happened or been done. When conviction comes into our lives we can realize the wrongs we have committed and feel sadness over those things. Perhaps it is even regret over the consequences of our sin. No sin comes without a consequence. Many nonbelievers argue Christianity because it is a "mean God giving us a bunch of rules." Yet the guidelines we are given are there to protect us. Just as we tell our children to not touch a stove burner when it is hot, God tells us what to avoid in order to keep us from harm. Think of how you feel when your child disobeys you and ends up getting hurt. You feel bad for them, but you also think, "that is why I told you not to do that. I didn't want to see you hurt." I imagine God has similar thoughts towards us.

When we are truly repentant, we not only feel bad because we touched the stove, but we realize we never need to touch the stove again. Not only do we not feel the need, but our hearts change to where we no longer have someone telling us not to do it, but our hearts change so we no longer WANT any part of sin. Many times in my life I thought I was repenting, and yet anytime the opportunity arose, I was willing to make the same choices again. Recently the opportunity came again and I had a decision to make. Would I choose as I have in the past or would I trust God to give me the strength to say no. Can I tell you, it was not as easy as you might think. I literally cried out to God for His strength to do the right thing! Just as Psalm 46:1 says, "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." In order to avoid the temptation in front of me, I had to seek Him as my refuge and rely on Him to be my strength. It was absolutely nothing of my own will that allowed me to say no to the sin I was being offered. I even cried and yelled at God. He knows my heart, He knows my weakness, and He knew that unless He showed up, I would make the same mistakes again.

Please know I'm not sharing any of this to brag about my own strength. However, this was a real victory for me and I know it was ONLY by God's grace and strength that this battle was won. I know there will be more battles to come. Because of the direction I'm moving in my life I have placed a target on my back for satan. If you do not feel satan attacking you, then it is a pretty good indication of how much you are doing for God. If you are not a threat to satan, he has no use of you.

I never want to be like the audience addressed in the book of Romans.

"Or do you despise the riches of His kindness, restraint, and patience, not recognizing that God's kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?"

God's love and mercy is not a license to do what we want and simply apologize after we have pursued our own way. It is His love that leads us to repentance to change. If my continual sin is despising His name, then it is not something I want to do. His patience and love for me causes me to want to live a life pleasing to Him. I am trusting His ways over my own. If you are living a life of remorse rather than one of true repentance, then I pray for a heart revelation for you today. Know that God will always provide a way out of sin for you. It may be you need to end certain relationships or friendships in your life. If your friends cause you to stumble, then it is better to be alone than keep company who will prevent you from stepping into God's complete and total will for your life. I am in no way saying it is easy. Too many times we hear it explained as if it is easy. Satan is a real enemy who will always attack us where he knows we are weakest. Take it one day at a time and celebrate even the little victories over him!

Choose This Day

Every day we wake up with the opportunity to start anew. What happened yesterday is in the past and we've been blessed with a chance to live another day and make different, and hopefully better, choices. I have to admit I don't always make the best of each day. I can become so focused on my schedule and what needs to be done that I overlook the opportunities God places in front of me to make a difference in someone's life.

When was the last time you did something just to make someone else smile? Today I had several tasks to do that most people would consider unpleasant. I took my oldest daughter to get her learner's permit, I had a doctor's appointment (the fun appointment only women have), got my vehicle inspected, and renewed my license plate registration. Sounds like an awesome day, right? Actually, it was. While standing in line I observed how quite and somber everyone was at the Registry. You would think it was an execution line everyone seemed so miserable! In the midst of this I decided to speak to the woman standing in front of me. This gave the chance to meet Ms. Theresa. Since we were in line at the Registry, we had a bit of time to get to know each other. She has just lost her husband to cancer. His time of diagnose to death was only 2 1/2 months and she said she was still a little in shock, but the New Yorker in her has kept her moving. She shared with me about her moving while her husband was sick and how she had to do it by herself. She told me how she would miss him most this fall when she would work the Renaissance Festival booth they had worked together for years. She shared how he'd chase the women there and how he was a "boob man" and she just laughed thinking of how they had fun with all the visitors there. We talked about when she worked at Wal-Mart years ago and how she would get in trouble for letting kids ride on the conveyor belts of the register. (I can't say I'd recommend this activity). As you can tell, I learned quite a bit about my new friend in the time we were standing in line. And I could also tell she was hurting.

If I had chosen to stand in line somberly like everyone else, I would have missed my chance. I would have missed the chance to give a smile and encouragement to someone experiencing grief. I don't know if my starting a conversation with Ms. Theresa made an impact on her. I don't know if it gave her a moment of joy in her day. I pray it did. I pray God put me in line behind her just to be able to let her know people do still care. I gave her my number and told her if she needed anything, or any heavy lifting, to please call me and my husband and I would gladly help her out. She may never take up the offer, but I pray it showed her people really do still care about others.

In making a conscious effort to impact others, we must also make sure we don't overlook those closest to us. Many of us live with others and we can forget to do something special for those we see every day. Maybe it's making their favorite meal or taking extra time in braiding their hair, but do something that will show extra love to those in your home. Listen to the story they are telling you that has nothing to do with anything you are interested in hearing. Turn off the television. TALK to each other! My two youngest children told me tonight they were bored and asked to watch television. I answered no and suggested they find something or go to bed early. Shortly after I overheard them reading their Bibles to each other and discussing the story. I wish I could say this happens daily, but again, I fail. Often.

Thankfully, when I wake up, I'll get another chance to make a choice. Will I choose to only focus on what I have to do, or will I ask God to keep me aware of the chance to brighten the day of another person. Will I be willing to choose to serve Him, no matter where I will be? We each have a choice. Choose THIS day whom you will serve.

"But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve.....but for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." ~Joshua 24:15

The Day I Realized I am a Mom of Three

From the very first day I met my stepdaughter, she has called me Mom. Her dad has had custody of her since she was a baby and she had prayed for years for a Mommy. It seemed natural for her to call me Mom from the very beginning. For me to call her my daughter was a bit of a different story.

If I can be honest, the only children I care for are children that are my own. There are some rare exceptions, but for the most part I don't like other people's children. This is why you won't see me volunteering in children's ministry any time soon. If you need someone to hang out with drug addicts, prostitutes, alcoholics, etc and I'm the first to volunteer. If you need someone to stay with a bunch of 6 year olds, then you will find me quickly missing. Children really are not my calling.

With that confession made, I really had to ask for God's help in being a Mom to my husband's daughter. I've made a very conscious effort to treat her the same as the two children who are my offspring. For almost six months now, she has called me Mom and I have referred to her as my daughter.

Today I learned that calling someone something and feeling someone IS something, are two completely different things. My youngest child left today to spend two weeks with her mom. It is the longest she's been away from her dad in her entire life. As I got into the car to go to work this morning I realized she might not be home when I returned. So I came back in the house to give her a hug and a kiss goodbye even though she was sleeping. She woke up and asked the day of the week and immediately became excited because she knew it was the day she would go to her mom's house. As I was hugging her I had to quickly leave because I suddenly, and unexpectedly, became very emotional.

I realized I felt about her the very same way I would feel about my two older daughters if they were leaving me for two weeks. I realized I would worry and miss her in the same way as if I had given birth to her. I realized I would miss her little annoying habits and how quiet it would be without her singing all the time.

I realized she is my daughter.

"Just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ Himself, according to the kind intention of His will."

Ephesians 1:4-5

While I may not be the woman who gave birth to my stepdaughter, I know God predestined her to be my daughter. How much greater must God's love be for us? Before the foundation of the earth, we have been chosen. No matter how long it has been since we "met" Him, we can call him Daddy. Just like my daughter saw me as her Mom from the very first day, we can call Him Daddy from the moment we accept Him into our lives. While you may know this in your head, have you allowed the emotion of it to drop into your heart?

How Do You Trust Again?

Trust is a crazy thing. When we are younger, we have to trust others in order to survive. We don't even realize we are trusting another person, it just happens naturally. However, as we grow older, we realize trust is not always a guarantee of someone upholding their responsibility. What happens over time is our ability to trust diminishes. As much as we want to trust others, our past disappointments cause us to question everything or doubt others will do what they've promised to do.

Broken trust in relationships has damaging effects. Sadly, it is usually not the person that broke the trust that pays the price of the let down, but the person who comes after the one who was untrustworthy. This is by far the greatest issue I have had to face within marriage. I spent many years single because I was not ready to trust anyone with my heart. I prayed many times asking God to heal me of the wounds others had inflicted through abandonment and abuse. When it comes to our issues, it is easy for us to think we have healed.....until we have to face our issues head on. When you are single, you don't have to trust anyone. Within marriage, trust is everything.

So the dilemma for me now really isn't about trusting my husband. It comes down to asking myself, "Do I trust God?" I know I do. I've trusted Him many times when making decisions that make little or no sense to me. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt He told me to marry the man who is now my husband. I had, and still have, peace about that decision. And yet, that doesn't mean doubt will not still creep into my mind. I will see or hear things and due to my past, my perception of these things will cause me to question what I'm seeing. While it is important to move on from our pasts, it is also the things from our past that can cloud our perception and judgement.

The question that remains is this: How do we move forward? I wish I had an easy answer. I don't. When it comes to trusting again, there is nothing easy about the process. Trust involves risk. It involves allowing yourself to be vulnerable. It means you have to believe in the goodness of another person enough to let them into the places you have kept locked. It means seeking God often to remember where your trust ultimately lies. It is remembering Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.

If you've overcome trust issues, I would love to hear from you! How did you learn to trust again? 

Murder Freshly Baked: An Amish Village Mystery by Vannetta Chapman

This story is about a group of friends who live in an Amish Village in Indiana. Some of the characters are Amish, while others are English. Threats of poisoning lead to a murder and the friends are in pursuit of finding the killer. The murder happens in the beginning of the book and then we are taken back in time to walk through the events leading up to the murder.

I found the story line entertaining more for it's element of friendship, faith, and healing than for its' suspense factor. It appears this is the third book in a series, so it took me a while to remember which character was being described. Frequent references are made to past events, which I assume took place in the previous books. If you've read the other books in the series, then this is not much of a problem. However, if just jumping into the story, it can be a little confusing. I enjoyed the storyline of the character Preston, a post war vet suffering from PTSD who finds healing through a service dog. There are several subplots within the story that are great examples of living out faith in God. I recommend this book as a casual read, but you might want to read the previous books in the series first. 

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”