What I feel led to write about today is not your typical New Years day kind of message. Although maybe someone reading needs to hear this as they start a new year in order to change the course direction they are currently heading.
There is a trend of sorts I have observed happening among Christian women. These women are actively involved in church. They are living a life chasing after God. They worship unashamedly. Yet, what I have noticed happening time and time again is these women becoming involved with worldly men. I have been guilty of this myself.
Why is this happening? Are there no Godly available men within the church? Does the blame lie in our own views of ourselves as not worthy of waiting for God's best for us? Do we live so much in our pasts that we refuse to see a future designed by our maker?
Perhaps the blame somewhat lies on the men in the church. When it comes to "women with a past," are the men within the church unwilling or unable to see beyond our past mistakes? Being honest, I have often wondered if much of my singleness comes from having two children. Yes, with two different men. And no, I've never been married. My past sin is a bit more obvious than others. When I start to condemn myself I am reminded of the number of times mentioned in scripture the command to care for the widows and orphans. I know just how important myself and my daughters are to God because of the number of times we are mentioned in scripture. That said...why do so many of us compromise our values simply to have a boyfriend? A true man of God will see us through the eyes of God and recognize our heavenly worth.
Ladies, what I have observed about men is when they are truly ready to settle down, they will look for true "wifey" material. When they are playing games or possibly even playing house, then their standards are not as high as when they reach the place of wanting to find a mate for life. Which category are you willing to place yourself? As for me, I want to be the best woman of God I can be.
I recently was thinking perhaps my standards for a man were too high. As I was having this thought I heard God speak to me saying, "It is because these are not YOUR standards. They are MINE." However, in the same way I have certain standards for any man who may enter my life, I have the same level of standards for the woman I want to be.
I do not want to be a woman of compromise. I do not want to be a woman of weak, negotiable faith. If I can not be 100% real about my faith in a relationship, then I know it is not a relationship I should continue. If the subject of faith, scripture, and Jesus is off limits, then this would not be the man for me. If a man is unable to lead you in a Godly manner on a date, then why would you expect him to lead you in a Godly marriage? If he is unwilling to go to church now, at the time he should be pursuing you the greatest, then why would he make an effort later in the relationship? Ladies, he cannot lead you into sin AND lead you into a closer relationship with God at the same time. It is simply not possible.
If you have seen yourself in what you have read here, please take some time with God and ask Him for direction. If you are in a relationship with a man that you know is not God's best for you....end it. Yes, just like that. I understand being lonely. I understand longing for a partner in life. However, being alone and lonely is nothing compared to being with someone who is causing you compromise your values and leading you away from the calling God has on your life.
To those of you with children, I understand longing for a father figure in your home. My youngest daughter does not know her father at all so believe me when I say...I understand! I know the weight of the burden you are carrying. But I also know our heavenly Father is always there when we need Him. Even when we try to control everything on our own, He is still there. I hate to sound cliche, but He wants to be your bridegroom first and foremost above any man. He is our example. His love is what we should long for above any love this world has to offer. And His love is the love we are called to model in our own lives.
Look into the eyes of your children and picture the future mate you want for them. If you have a son, are you an example of the kind of woman you want him to find when he is older? If you have daughters, what kind of man would you pick for them? Is the current man in your life an example of what you would choose for your daughter? If not, then why do you not feel you deserve a choice as good as you would make for your daughters? After all, this is how God feels when He looks at you!
My prayer for each of you today is that you would truly feel how much God loves you. I pray you would see yourself as valuable as your creator has made you. I pray you would have the courage to step into the unknown with God. I pray for a new level of trust to be revealed as you ask Him to guide you in all areas of your life. Even in the area of your current relationship. For those of you who are married I pray for a move in God in your marriage as both you and your husband grow in Christ and become the husband and wife He desires you to become.
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