The Reason for my Hope by Billy Graham

In “The Reason for my Hope,” Billy Graham does an excellent job detailing the reason why Jesus is the hope He claimed to be for each of us. Graham provides scriptural reference and evidence of why his hope has been in Christ and Christ alone. This book is great for someone looking for an immensely broken down, detailed explanation for why our hope should be placed in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I found this book interesting and a great resource to have on hand for someone who is seeking the truth of Christ. I was not challenged much by this book selection, but I believe that can be attributed to where I am in my walk in faith. If you are seeking more information about Christ or are a new believer and looking to strengthen your faith, then I highly recommend this book. If you are a more mature believe, then this is still a good read as it will give you great material to use in sharing your faith and the reason for your beliefs. It is also an excellent gift for your loved ones who are not believers in the deity of Christ.  

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html

15 Years and 9 Months

Most people say the day their first child was born was the day they became a mother or a father. I’ve said this myself in the past. However, today as my oldest daughter turns 15, it occurred to me I didn’t become a mother 15 years ago today. I became a mother 15 years and 9 months ago. From the moment of her conception I was protecting, nourishing, and providing for her. Even before I knew she was being knit together in my womb, I was her mother.

Many would say I gave her life, but the reality is it was Kiara who gave life to me. At the time I was 21 and fully living the life the world tells every 21 year old they should be living. I was in a club several nights a week and doing what young people (and sadly many not so young people) do. My life had no direction, purpose, or meaning. My mom had been diagnosed with cancer and my relationship with my father was estranged. I lived 1,000 miles away from most of my family. Whatever I chose to do was my business and nobody else’s. At least that was how I viewed my life. That all changed one morning in June of 1998.

When I took the test to determine if I was pregnant I was doing it as a way of ruling out the reason I wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t actually expect I was pregnant. I had experienced several pregnancy “scares” before and to be honest, when this test returned a positive result, my first thought was, ‘This test must be wrong. None of the others ever showed this.” The thought lasted about 5 seconds before it occurred to me this one was different because this time I  was pregnant. The emotions I felt were overwhelming.

Kiara’s father and I had dated for a while, but had recently broken up. How was I supposed to tell someone I was no longer dating that I was pregnant with their child? My mom was fighting cancer. How could I put another burden on her? The closest family member was an hour away so I knew I would not have the physical support of family that many women have. I lived in Boston with two male roommates. How would they feel about a baby being in the house? Even with all these circumstances I knew this life I carried was special. I knew she was precious and God had decided to send her to earth at this particular time for a reason.

There were people close to me who strongly encouraged an abortion. My life situation was pointed out to me and my ability to be a mother was questioned. How would I raise a child when my own life was a mess? I was told to have a child at this point in my life would be selfish. I knew from the beginning I would be a single mom. Was I ready for everything that would entail? In spite of all the arguments against my decision, I chose life.

I believe my own experiences with pregnancy and motherhood are one of the reasons I’m so passionately pro-life. I’ve twice seen how God can move greatly through an “unplanned” pregnancy. I have personally experienced the feeling of being alone in parenting. I know what it is like to have others encourage you to abort. I know the stigma that comes along with being the woman in church with two kids, by two different men, who has never been married.  I’ve had to tell my parents and family of pregnancy knowing how disappointed they would be in me. Not just once, but twice. But I also cannot begin to imagine my life without these two precious girls.

I have witnessed how God places people into our lives at just the right season. While some encouraged me to abort, there were others (even men) who stepped up to encourage me and hold my hand (sometimes literally). There was a male friend who went with me for my ultrasound so I wouldn’t have to be alone. He was also there in the room when she was born. It is why her middle name is his last name. His friendship during those months is what helped carry me through a very trying and difficult time. My mom lived long enough to see Kiara once. She died about a month after meeting her. I truly believe she fought cancer as long as she did so she would be able to meet her. Her first comment on holding her was, “Wow. She’s so beautiful.”

Kiara was only 3 months old when Mom died.  I can’t imagine how my life might have spiraled out of control during this time if Kiara had not been in my life. I had to get up every morning. I had to go to work now. I had to continue living when parts of me wanted to die along with my mom. In fact, in the year my mom passed, 4 of her 5 children had babies and the 5^th had her first grandchild. God’s timing is always perfect and nothing restores hope like a newborn child.

So here we are 15 years later. Kiara is still beautiful. She has an outer beauty that everyone can see, but her inner beauty is absolutely breathtaking. She has more compassion than most teens I’ve ever met. She definitely has more than I had at 15! I love her unique style and tastes. Even as a toddler others described her as “marching to her own drum” and I love that as she has matured that is a quality that has not changed. When she was about 10 she asked to serve in the children’s ministry at church just because an autistic little boy was in the class and she adored him. I was once told by a leader of the class that Kiara knew how to interact with him in ways most adults did not. Whenever we are uptown she asks about the homeless man who stays in front of the building where I used to work. I’ve seen her selfishly give up her bedroom when needed for a woman to stay a night or two who is coming out of a trafficking situation. She’s helped babysit for women who work in the strip clubs. When Olivia was born she was the one who cut the umbilical cord. It was the day before she turned 7 and she said it was the best birthday present ever. She came to visit on her birthday and while holding Olivia started singing, “Jesus Loves Me” to her. She was mothering Olivia from the very beginning!  

She loves Sherlock, Doctor Who, and all things Marvel. I give her a hard time about it, but she hugs me more times a day than I can count. As she is transitioning from my first baby girl into a young woman, I couldn’t be more proud or in love with her. When I was pregnant with her, God showed her to me in a dream. When she was born she was identical to the baby I saw in my dreams. I know God showed her to me because she is uniquely created and has a special purpose and call on her life.

The greatest miracle in all this is that I get to be her mom. Thank you, God for allowing me to be a part of this beautiful young woman’s life. Thank you that out of all the women on the planet, you chose me to give birth to her. Thank you, God that I chose life when many would not have blamed me for choosing abortion. Thank you, God that you have been with us every step of the way as we both have grown and matured.

Thank you God that for 15 years and 9 months I’ve been Kiara’s mom. 

Fly Little Bird

This morning as I was driving a bird flew next to my car. It wasn't a bird with bright colors. It was actually quite drab. Nothing about the appearance of this bird stood out in the way perhaps a Cardinal would.  However, despite it's seemingly unattractive appearance, this bird was still flying. I know you are probably thinking I'm stating the obvious because most birds do, indeed, fly. This bird wasn't doing anything other than what came naturally because God created this type of bird to fly. And yet, how many of us never get off the ground because we are more focused on not looking like the "beautiful" people than on what God has created us to do. (*I'm speaking from personal experience here).

Is there something deep in your spirit you know you were created to do and yet you feel your appearance disqualifies you from your calling? For many it's an issue of weight. Or perhaps you feel you are too short or too tall. For some it is they are not the least bit interested in dressing in the latest fashions. Some feel their race limits them. Maybe you have a disfigurement or physical handicap. The list of possible "limitations" is endless. Sadly, many of these limitations have been perpetuated not only by the world, but also within the church. In an effort to keep all things in line with a particular appearance, many have been "disqualified" from their calling simply because they do not fit a desired mold or look.

My precious friend, that was never God's intention for you when you were created! The beauty of humanity is each and every one of us is different. We are different shapes, sizes, colors and we all have different preferences in clothing, music, etc. We should never allow these differences to prevent us from "flying" in our call from God. If you are somewhere that is stifling your gifting because you are different than the norm in that place, then I challenge you to leave. Somewhere there are people who are waiting for YOU. Not the you that you are pretending to be, but the YOU that was created before the formation of the world. The YOU that God painted in the masterpiece of His mind and fashioned carefully with His hand. Don't fall for the lie that it is just your "issue" if you are feeling less than others while in a certain environment. Oftentimes the very ones who are saying it's our "issue" are the very ones encouraging everyone to fit the mold.

Read God's word and ask Him to reveal to you who He made you to be. What has He called you to do in your walk here on earth? As we mature there will be things He will show us that need to be changed. However, in your transformation process be sure it is God doing the changing and not the will or opinion of man. Don't resign yourself to staying camouflaged in the tree of life when you were created to fly.


Update: Several hours after writing this post I saw the following video. I pray it blesses you as much as it blessed me. It illustrates my point so well.

Merlin's Shadow by Robert Treskillard

Merlin’s Shadow is the second book in the Merlin Spiral Series by Robert Treskillard. The story picks up where the first title ended as we see how Merlin and the other characters are recovering after the destruction of the Druid stone. There are those who are seeking revenge and those who are assisting Merlin in his vow to protect young Arthur. 

I found the descriptions given in the story very illustrative and could picture the people and the lands in my mind. This is a title I would love to see turned into a movie! The faith of Merlin and his comrades is inspiring as they trust in God to guide them through unbelievably difficult circumstances. The author does an excellent job in taking liberty with the traditional story of Merlin and Author as he weaves in elements such as the Holy Grail as part of the story. 

Even though this selection is labeled as Teen Fiction, I think this is a story many adults will enjoy just as much as teens. I can't wait for the next title in the series!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com® book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Out of Hiding

Happy New Year! I pray you all had a wonderful and joyous Christmas and New Years! This is the time of year when most of us reflect on the past year and think about what the new year will bring. In my quiet time with God last week I asked Him for my "word" for this new year. Last year the word was discipline and that I needed to focus on areas of my life that were not as disciplined as they needed to be. I don't think I quite mastered it in all areas, but there was definitely forward progress made in 2013. 

What I heard God telling me for this year is this:

It's time to come out of hiding.

Uh oh. As the days have passed this phrase has been revealed into deeper meaning. I trust God will continue to give me more information, but just today He showed me how much of my life has been spent making comparisons. How many times have I read someone's writing and thought, "I wish I could write like her/him." Or heard someone sing and thought, "If only I could sing like THAT, then I would join the choir!" And of course what is probably the most common among women, "If I looked like that.....then I would......" 

What happens when we live our lives with this thought process is we bury our true selves. We neglect the talents God has given to us because they don't look like what we see in someone else. Our voice sounds different because God wants to use us to make a different sound. He is a creative God! He loves diversity and took time on each and every one of us to make us look, write, and sound exactly as He determined we should look, write, and sound. 

God is waiting for you to come out of hiding. No matter what you have done, God still wants a relationship with you. I have made many mistakes in the past and I'm sure to make more in the future. When we fail, satan whispers to us how shameful we should feel. Depending on the severity of the fall, we can believe his lies. Instead of running to Abba asking for forgiveness, we run from Him. We are no different than Adam and Eve.

"Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden at the time of the evening breeze, and they hid themselves from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. So the Lord God called out to the man and said to him, "Where are you?" And he said, "I heard You in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked, so I hid." Then He asked, " Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat from the tree that I had commanded you not to eat from?" Genesis 3:8-11

How often has this been our story? We do something God instructed was not in our best interest and so we hide when we hear Him approaching. When Adam said he was naked, God immediately knew what had been done. When we go into hiding because we think we aren't "enough," God asks, "Who told you that?" If the only opinion that matters in our lives is the opinion of God, then we have no reason to hide. If we are listening to His voice and instruction, then why do we fear? 

I can't speak for you, but I know for me I've lived the majority of my life in hiding based on the fear of what someone will think. What if I write something that makes people mad. What if I offend someone? What if I sing and people laugh at me? What if I speak and I stumble over the words? But what if I live my whole life running from the very thing I was created to do all because I'm living in fear of the opinion of others? What if every time I think I can't do something because of _______(insert perceived inadequacy here), God is in Heaven asking, "Who told you that?"

Where are you hiding? Is God walking in the garden looking for you, but because of satan's lies or your failures, you are hiding in the trees? I will be praying for you to come out of hiding and step into the purpose for which you were created. Let today be the end of believing the lies.

Merlin's Blade by Robert Treskillard

This is definitely not my typical choice in reading material so I was a little skeptical at first, but I wanted to try something different. I can positively say I was not disappointed in venturing out of my reading comfort zone. Merlin’s Blade takes the reader into a time a few centuries after the death of Christ. We become part of the story of a small village and what happens when the threat of evil comes to them through the hands of Druids who want to see the old ways of life restored.

It took a while to keep up with all the characters as their names are common for the setting, but not so common in today’s culture. The author did a great job of describing the village setting, mindsets, and practices of the time. As I continued reading I found it was hard to stop since I wanted to find out what was going to happen next in the story. The boldness and faith of the title character is inspiring and caused me to question my own boldness in living for Christ in the face of an evil threat. Would I be willing to stand up in the same way as Merlin? My teenage daughter anxiously awaited me to finish because she wanted to read it next. I can’t wait to read the next book in the series!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com® <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

The Prodigal by Brennan Manning and Greg Garrett

The Prodigal is a very well written, modern day version of one of the best stories told in scripture illustrating the love of God towards His children. The authors take the story of a son who is loved, who travels away from home, loses his way, and has a father who is waiting for his return. The authors tell the story in a way to make it recognizable as the parable in the Bible, but with enough liberties to bring the story to a situation that could happen easily in today’s society.

Having attended a church similar to the one pastored by the main character, there were many similarities to his personality in the beginning that I have experienced personally. Many of us have witnessed the “fall” of pastors who have been elevated to super-human status. The Prodigal tells a story of what can happen when one of these pastors is forced to face his own humanity and is forced to live out what he has been preaching. At the same time he learns things about Christ and the love of a father he has never personally experienced before.

I found The Prodigal a very enjoyable read and recommend it for anyone who may be struggling in their faith after making choices that have hurt themselves or others.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com® <http://BookSneeze.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”