I have a confession to make. As awesome as the last 5 months of married life have been, there has been one area in which I've been mad. I've spent countless amounts of time asking God, "WHY?" and telling Him about how this one thing is not what I had pictured for my life. I've shared my disappointment with Him. I've told Him how much this one thing really sucks. So basically, in the midst of the happiest time of my life, I've been complaining.
I suppose I need to share what has had me so mad at God.
My husband and I have to share a vehicle. It's a long story, but when we got married, he left the vehicle he had with his mother so she would have a car. This was a noble and honorable gesture, but it put a strain and inconvenience on me. And that is all I could see. In God's infinite wisdom, He gave us jobs with opposite schedules. While this is not great for getting a lot of quality time together during the week, it does make the transportation situation easier. I use the vehicle in the mornings to go to my cleaning jobs and I am home by the early afternoon so he can go to his second shift job. However, this arrangement means starting at 2 o'clock every day, I'm stuck at home.
No vehicle after my work hours means it's hard to get to the grocery store. No vehicle means I'm unable to physically respond when the ministry I work with has a need to help a woman coming out of trafficking. No vehicle means when the kids share how it's their school's night for a fundraiser at a local restaurant, we can't go. The list of all the things we can't do is a long one. This list is where my focus has been for several months.
Until two nights ago.
As I was once again in the middle of one of my pity parties, I heard God answer where there had been silence. In all my whining and complaining to Him, I had failed to receive any understanding of the situation. But then He spoke. What I heard God ask me is this:
Why are you complaining when I've given you a time to rest?
You've fought and hustled for so long, and now I'm making you be still!
Why are you so upset that I've given you time to get your house in order?
Ouch! God chastised me for my anger. He asked why I have been whining and complaining about something I had wanted for so long. What I had asked God for didn't come in the package in which I thought it would appear so I didn't see the gift and blessing for what it truly is. I wonder how many times in life I've done this to God. How many times has He given me something I've needed and requested, only for me to overlook the blessing and only see the inconvenience? I'm like the Israelites complaining about the wilderness instead of rejoicing I'm no longer a slave!
What about you? Is there an area of your life where you are complaining, but the reality could be God is blessing you? Have we forgotten to,
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing,
give thanks in all circumstances;
for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
My prayer for you today is for you to experience peace where you have only felt frustration. I pray for God's revelation where you have been blind in a particular circumstance. I pray you see beyond the immediate vision to see the bigger picture.
And I pray....for another vehicle (just to keep it honest!)
When God speaks the words we don't want to hear! I have been walking through a situation here that required me not to pick up an offense. It wasn't just any offense, it was an offense on behalf of Brett! Everytime I wanted to "speak my mind" God would say, "Rise up, woman of God, rise up." I had thought that rising up meant go his defense, but it didn't. What God was saying to me was rising up and stand in the gap. Keep your thoughts and words to yourself and to me. Rise up! So, I took the time to rise up and be the Godly woman He has called me to be. It took time, but resolution came and no one else got hurt because I rose up.
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