Whether Single or Married

Today's post is going to be handled in two parts. First I want to address the single women who are reading. There is a verse I want to highlight for you from Proverbs. 

"The man who finds a wife finds a treasure, and he receives favor from The Lord."  Proverbs 18:22

Ladies, take note of who in the relationship equation does the finding. It is the man. NOT the woman. The biggest mistake I see women making in today's society is in chasing a man. Ladies, God has commanded HIM to find YOU! I'm not saying we are to be unprepared or unaware of our surroundings, however it does not say the woman who finds a husband finds a treasure. I believe the primary reason "chivalry is dead" is because we have killed it by our willingness to operate out of order. 

I have talked to male friends who have shared how they have gone on dates and had women become offended when they opened the door for them. When we offer to "go dutch" on a meal we are disabling a man from his first opportunity to provide for us. Besides, if he is not able to buy you dinner, how will he provide you with a home and for the needs of a family? Call me old-fashioned in my beliefs towards relationships, but I prefer to call them biblical. 

So what are you doing while waiting for the man God has for you? Are you sitting at home crocheting and complaining on Facebook about your singleness? Or are you preparing for him? When he finds you, will he truly find a treasure in you? If you have wounds and hurts from your past (and let's be real, most of us do), then use this time to seek God for healing these wounds. It is MUCH easier to enter into a relationship with healing occurring than it is to seek healing once you are in a relationship. Unaddressed wounds in a relationship will only sabotage the relationship. Use this time wisely to become a treasure in God.

Now, I want to address those of you who are already married. The verse today for you is also from Proverbs. 

"Better to live in a wilderness than with a nagging and hot-tempered wife." Proverbs 21:19

I don't know about you, but when I read this verse my first thought is, "Ouch! Isn't this a bit harsh?" What kind of a wife are you? Do you become angry easily? Do you constantly feel the need to remind (aka nag) your husband to do things? Apparently this type of behavior in a wife is nothing new. Thousands of years ago men were saying it was better to be out in the wilderness than to live with such a wife! Think about it....the wilderness. Extreme temperatures, wild animals, and a good chance of death are a better alternative than living with a nagging and hot-tempered wife. 

When your husband found you, he must have believed he had found a treasure. However, he may want to bury it and forget the "X" to mark the spot if all you do is nag and become angry quickly. Who wants to come home to that every day? If you see yourself in this verse, it is time to ask yourself why you behave this way? The first thing not to respond is, "well, he...." This is not about him, it is about YOU! One of the fruits of the spirit is patience. If you are hot-tempered, then you are lacking in patience. 

Chances are if your husband is not leading your home, it is because he does not want to incur the wrath of a hot-temper when he leads in a way that is different from how you would like to lead. We nag as women when things are not done on a time schedule of our choosing. This does not mean something is not a priority to our men, but it is not as high a priority as we make it in our lives. Communication regarding why something is important is necessary. However, be extremely mindful of your tone and the timing of your discussion. If you are attempting to discuss an important matter in the middle of his favorite football team playing, then you will come across as nagging. Be mindful of his state of mind and when he is most receptive to conversations. 

Whether single or married, we can all have something we need to work on in ourselves. Single ladies, remember to spend this time becoming the treasure your man is seeking. Married ladies, calm down and quit nagging.