Patience

I've had a realization today. Okay, maybe it hasn't just happened today, but more something God has been showing me for a while now. Well, a long while actually. I am not a patient person. If I see something that needs to be done, I  do it. The discipline of waiting is not something I possess. At least I haven't in the past. I've come to see one of the lessons God has been teaching me over the years is that of patience. This is also the case when it comes to relationships. I'm having to learn to be patient and wait for the ONE God has chosen for me. When I meet a man who seems like a good catch, I want to rush things. It's my nature. Because of my past, I have had to be in control of everything and make all the decisions. I'm having to learn to trust God to bring me a man who will be the one to "chase" me rather than the other way around. Can I tell you how absolutely difficult it is for me to do?

I'm going to speak to all the singles reading this now. Ladies, you DESERVE to be pursued! A husband is called to love his wife as Christ loves the church. That means he WILL pursue you. He WILL seek you out. He WILL love you right where you are! There may be some change involved, but it will always be a change for the better. A real man will respect you. A real man will honor you as a woman. He will be proud to be seen with you! I see so many woman in wrong relationships. The thought seems to be that it is better to be in a miserable relationship than to be single. This is a lie straight from the devil! As long as you remain in the wrong relationship, you will be unable to further the call God has placed on your life. The ONE God chooses for you will encourage you to pursue your calling and to be who God made you to be. This applies whether that calling is to become a preacher to millions and write books or if that calling is to be a stay at home mom and have ten children.

This is a subject I am so passionate about! Not only in speaking to you, but in speaking to myself as well! I know what I WANT in my life, but having the patience to let God orchestrate it is sometimes downright painful! However, the pain of waiting is nothing compared to the pain that comes from trying to do things in my own way.

"And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises." Hebrews 6:11-12

I love this verse in Hebrews. I often need this reminder that it is through faith and patience that I will inherit the promises of God. His promises are fulfilled in His timing and in His way. We can become so caught up in how we think His promises should look that we miss out on what God wants for us in this season. Never underestimate what God is doing in and through you at THIS moment! Praying for all of you today, but especially for those who are single. I know when you have expectations for a Godly husband, there are many who will tell you that your expectations are too much. There is nothing crazy about believing for what God says you should expect. What I find crazy is how many settle for less that was is from God. Yes, these expectations probably mean you will be single for longer than you would like. The way I see it, my expectations have probably saved me from a couple divorces had I "settled" for something other than what I know God wants for me. He wants that for you too. If you are in a dating relationship that you know is not honoring to God, then end it. Yes, it's that simple. If you are having to compromise yourself or your values simply to keep that man, then I can almost 100% assure you, he is NOT the one God would choose for you.

I could keep writing because this is something I feel so strongly! I will leave you with this thought: If we, as Christian women, began to expect more, then our Christian brothers would be able to become the men of God we desire. Why would they be encouraged to change if we are willing to accept less than God's best?

Boasting

A scripture on my heart his morning comes from 1 Corinthians. It is verses 26-31:


"Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”


Have you ever compared yourself to someone else? It seems competition is all around us. We can see where someone is currently in life and think we could never be as successful or as cool as they are. On the opposite side of that is we can see someone who has a life in shambles and an absolute wreck and immediately deem them as a hopeless cause. It occurred to me this week that some of my closest friends and greatest sources of encouragement are people who were once drug addicts and gang members. I wonder how many times people who knew them then considered them as worthless. Yet, I know from each of their stories that they each had somoene who never gave up on them. They each had people who showed the love of Christ to them and never stopped telling them that God had a call on their life.

For thousands of years, the greatest people of faith have been those who were the least chosen by man. Those who have been foolish. Those who have committed crimes. Those who have lived lives in total rebellion to God. And yet, once God became real to them, they were transformed into people who were willing to be used greatly by God. You see, if you have been crazy for the things of this world, you are accustomed to being judged. You develop a thick skin against what people think or say about you. God can use that same stubborness to bring glory to His name! God uses those with no influence to speak wisdom into the lives of many. Oftentimes the greatest influences in our lives can be people who think they are not influencing anyone.


Do you feel too weak? Maybe you have made choices in your life that now cause you to feel shame. Don't ever, ever, ever let anyone tell you that you are too messed up to be used by God! According to scripture, it is those who are judged unhealthy and messed up by the world that God PREFERS! It is by His amazing grace that lives like this are transformed into something beautiful. For those of us who are in relationship with Christ, it is also critical that we never forget where we were when God found us. We should never look down on where someone is currently in their life because you could be looking at someone who could be used greatly by God. The reason God chooses those who have a "twisted" past is because everyone who knows that person knows it could ONLY be God that could bring about the changes they see in that person. Anything I am today can only be accredited to God's amazing grace and love. It is through nothing I have done in my own strength that has brought me to where I am today.

If you boast in ANYTHING, boast in Jesus.

Friendships

Friendships and true relationships take time. Let's be honest. They can be inconvenient. Effort is required. However, when we put forth the time and effort, there is nothing like true friendship! Last night I visited a good friend just to hang out and do nothing specific. When we are together, we laugh and laugh. If you didn't already know, laughter is healthy for your soul. I don't mean just an occassional chuckle, but the laughing so hard you are crying kind of laughter. God did not make us to walk around being grumpy all the time. He gives us things to laugh at and enjoy. Have you ever really looked at a platypus? That is one funny creature!

When we put forth the effort to develop friendships, we are rewarded far beyond the risk involved. Many of us have hurts in our past from wounds caused by people we thought were our friends. Often those wounds are caused by people who are themselves wounded. Maybe it was something said and you assumed it was in confidence, but you later found out that person had shared the information with others. It could even be something as serious as a friend who "stole" a boyfriend or husband. When things such as these happen, this does not mean we are to disconnect ourselves from all future friendships. Just as God said it was not good for man to be alone, this also applies to women. We all need friends who know the REAL us and can speak into our lives from a place of a deeper knowing (Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart. Proverbs 27: 9)

We need to let go of our competition mentality and realize the beauty found in female friendships. Every woman has her OWN beauty and worth. I wonder how many possible friendships I have missed out in having because of my initial opinion of another woman. That goes the other way around also. I've often wondered what kind of impression I leave on others. Do I come across as approachable and open to being a friend? I know for sure there have been times in my life when I have been closed to others. Looking back over these times, I know it was at the same time when I was hurting inside deeply. I probably offended people because of my lack of friendliness. Who have you come into contact with recently that seemed to be bothered by a simple "hello?" It can be easy to label someone as rude or cold, but in reality they are simply hurting. We all need someone who can come into our lives and encourage us to grow, even if it is to grow out of our hurt. (As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27: 17)


I would like to challenge all of you to think of three different types of women. First, think of someone you know that is a completely opposite personality from you. If you are a woman who loves nature and hiking, find someone who would rather go shopping and have her nails done (btw, this somewhat describes myself and my friend I saw last night). Second, think of someone you know who seems to have built a wall against everyone around her. We all know someone who seems to always be alone and often runs away from social interactions. Thirdly, find a woman who is a different race or culture than you. You are HUGELY limiting yourself if all your friends look just like you and come from the same hometown or background. With each of these women, I challenge you to reach out to them and build a new friendship. Pray about whom God would want you to connect. Invite her to coffee or to come over for dinner. I would love to hear back from you in a month or two about what happens when you make this effort!

Bitterness

I hope I don't lose you today by up front saying that I'm writing based on scriptures found in the book of Numbers. I know this may not be the most "interesting" book of the Bible and is probably even skipped over in reading. However, I think we need to be extremely cautious in downplaying the importance of any of God's word. If it has remained in the Bible as we now know it, then it is there for a reason.

In my translation, Numbers 5:11-31 is referred to as "The Jealousy Ritual." Upon first reading I wanted to immediately discredit this "ritual" as archaic and completely ridiculous. A husband who even suspects his wife is cheating can ask a priest to perform some hocus pocus with holy water and a clay bowl? I mean, seriously? As I continued reading, verses 27-28 began to "speak" to me in a way beyond their initial impression.

"When he has made her drink the water, then it shall be, if she has defiled herself and behaved unfaithfully toward her husband, that the water that brings a curse will enter her and become bitter, and her belly will swell, her thigh will rot, and the woman will become a curse among her people. But if the woman has not defiled herself, and is clean, then she shall be free and may conceive children."

As I began to think about this more I can see how this is still very true today. While it may not be a ritual performed by a priest, the bitterness that comes from being unfaithful (be it to a husband or to God), is very real. I'm not sure if the physical symptoms described in Numbers are the result of the curse in the ritual or the natural by-product of sex outside of marriage. Speaking from my own experience in this area, I can tell you every intimate encounter I've had (all outside of marriage) left me with bitterness. There is a part of you given away each and every time. God designed sex to be a wonderful, beautiful thing within the confines of marriage. When we carry it outside the marriage bed, we defile and poison the beauty.

I know there are trials when married. I've watched as people I know struggle in their marriage and then turn to intimacy with others in an attempt to "escape," even if only for the moment. I've watched as this happened with both men and women cheating. The effect on men is very different than the effect on women. When a woman gives herself away to a man that is not her husband, she begins to fantasize what life would be like with the other man. While she may have not felt happy inside of her marriage, she now becomes not just dissatisfied, but bitter. Any attempt her husband makes to show affection is met with bitterness. Things he says are filtered through a lens of bitterness.

I have experienced this also in my past. My experiences became the lens in which I viewed my present. This was an area in which I have had to allow God to bring healing. It took me years to work through much of the bitterness I had towards men. Looking back, I can see most of my bitterness was the result of my choices to have sex outside of marriage. The calls that never came the next day. The avoidance after the "act." If you have been there, then I'm sure you know exactly what I'm referencing. The beauty of Jesus is that unlike the woman guilty according to the ritual found in Numbers, you do not have to REMAIN bitter. Jesus came to break every curse! You no longer have to be bound in bitterness!

A major part of healing is properly diagnosing the problem. Take time today to ask God to show you any areas of bitterness you may have in your life. If you have had sex outside of marriage, then there is definite potential for some bitterness to exists. God wants to heal you! Accept His grace and healing today!

What Fear?

What is your greatest fear? I will wait while you think about the answer to this question........... No, seriously...................

Some of us will be quick to answer we aren't really afraid of anything. For others the answer could be anything from spiders to public speaking. Some fears are rational. Some spiders can actually kill you, but the daddy long legs on your back porch is not one of them. If you have a fear of public speaking, why is that a fear? What is the worst that could happen? People might disagree with what you say? Maybe you could get heckled? All in all, there is nothing deadly about this act. I am using this as an example because for a long time I would list public speaking as a major fear. However, I think the area God wants to use us greatly is usually the same area satan attacks. If your story is one that will lead people to Christ, satan wants you SILENCED! You are a threat to him.

Maybe there is a profession you feel God is calling you into, but satan tells you people will laugh at you if you pursue that calling. I know so many people who are in jobs that have little or nothing to do with the call God has on their lives. The fear of losing finances keeps them there. I know this scenario quite well because several years ago it was my own situation. I had the fear of not being able to provide for my girls (ultimately it is God who provides everything, not a job), a fear of what people would think of me if I left such a "good" job (if I told you some of the comments and questions I received you would be shocked at what some people will say, even those within the church body), and a fear of what would come next.

Another area in which I see so many women live in fear is the fear of being alone. We (I say "we" because I have been there myself) stay in ungodly relationships out of a fear of being alone or the fear that we may never date again if we end this relationship. What we fail to realize is that by remaining in something that God cannot bless, we are preventing a relationship that He CAN bless! I was in a relationship with someone that I loved dearly, but was convicted about the physical aspect of the relationship. I knew we had to stop. I had suspicions of how this would go over with him, but my desire to be pleasing to God was greater than my desire to please this man. He "understood" why we had to stop being intimate, but within a month the relationship was over. His true character was revealed to me. Ladies, you do not simply want a man to "understand" your desire for purity, but a man who will not intentionally lead you into sin. A close male friend of mine shared an observation he had made over the years that when examining married couples you could usually tell if they had sex before marriage. If they waited until after marriage, the man was typically the leader of the home. If they had not waited, the woman lead the home. Not saying God cannot change this down the road and redeem the order in a home, but the more I think about this observation, the more I have to agree. Satan KNOWS God's plan for us in relationships. Satan knows God's plan for marriage. This is why it is a major target that satan has perverted. Greater than any fear of being alone is my desire to please God. I want to someday have a healthy, God ordained marriage. I am willing to accept the judgment (what's wrong with her? why is she still single?) and times of being alone in order to wait for the ONE God has chosen. Please don't be so afraid of this that you are willing to compromise all of God's goodness! There is absolute beauty in singleness! If you are single or in a wrong relationship, let go of the fear and enjoy this season of your life! 

These are just a couple examples of areas I have experienced fear in my life. Your fear may look nothing like these examples. No matter what your fear is, remember:

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." 2 Timothy 1:7

We tend to focus on the part of this verse about not having fear. However, do not miss what you DO possess! You have POWER and LOVE and A SOUND MIND! So, when you stop operating out of fear, there will be people who tell you that you are out of your mind. The reality is that by living in fear, you are crazy! Living out your life through the power of Christ leads to power and love and SANITY! Couldn't we use more sanity in this world?

Rocco and George

Have you ever had the honor of having a front row seat to watching a miracle as it happens? Oftentimes what many people see as a "lucky" event or something that occurs out of being at the right place at the right time, is in reality the result of months, if not years of preparation. It is so easy to see the result of something and overlook all the pain and heartache that preceeded the final event.


I ask these questions because today is a day of absolute excitement for me, but not for anything that really even involves me. Today is the day Rocco and George are being born! As of an hour ago, Rocco has made his appearance and many are waiting for George to show up next. These two babies are the result of years of tears, prayers and faith. I have known their mother Holly for several years. I first met her when we worked together at the bank. Beginning during our first interactions, I always knew Holly wanted nothing more in this world than to be a mother. She has a stepson and I always knew by seeing her love for him that she would make an amazing mother. I remember all the times Holly would excitedly tell me that she was "late," but then a couple days later she would shake her head and say "no, not this month." Through every month of hope and then disappointment, Holly never waivered in her faith in God.


After months and months of trying, I remember her telling me about the doctor's visits of trying to find out what was wrong. I remember all the crazy suggestions made to her that she expectantly followed. Then came the in-vitro attempt that didn't take. I know through all this that I was not the only person praying for Holly. I have never in my life seen someone want a baby so badly that I KNEW "deserved" the opportunity. Even though I never saw it in her, I had my times of anger over the situation. I questioned how so many women could get pregnant easily who never planned a child, nor did they even want one yet here was someone who yearned for one so badly. God, where is the justice in that scenario?


About a year ago I began cleaning regularly for Holly. She doesn't know this, but as I would make her bed, I prayed over it and prayed for the baby I knew was in their future. I saw the birth announcements she received from friends. Holly would hang them up and even show them to me and point out how adorable each baby was in the pictures. After a few months Holly told me they were going to try in-vitro again. I remember seeing the long list of "do's and don't" on the fridge and the schedule of shots she needed to take in order to prepare her baby for the best possible environment. Two eggs were implanted (Holly even has pictures of them in a dish!). Praise God, both eggs stuck! Over the last 38 weeks (YES! SHE MADE IT TO 38 WEEKS!!!!) I have watched as Holly has prepared for the arrival of her two boys. The affirmations and prayers she has spoken over them have melted my heart. I've teased about how the reality is going to be so much different from the illusions she has now of motherhood. However, deep inside, I think it will be much different than what many children experience. I've watched as Holly has faithfully visited her chiropractor, acupuncturist, and taken every suggested vitamin in order to have the healthiest pregnancy possible. Over the last month or so I have watched as she has been uncomfortable beyond belief, yet saying "for these babies, it's worth it all!" I have had the honor of every two weeks watching as their home has changed in anticipation of their arrival. The spare bedroom/office is now one of the cutest nurseries I've ever seen!


Monday night Holly went to the hospital to begin the labor and delivery process. She texted me yesterday that she had not needed any drugs yet and everything was going great. At 10 am this morning her husband posted on Facebook that Rocco had arrived and mom and baby are both doing great. Now we are all watching and waiting for George. I'm trying not to tear up as I type because to have had this front row seat to not just one, but two miracles has been such an honor!


I have shared all this only to say that what we may see as just a blessing can often come only after a high cost. Obviously there was a financial cost in this story, but even more was the cost of every hearbreak experienced along the way. For every time I saw Holly frustrated, I imagined how many tears I didn't see. How many times must she have wrestled with God over this issue? She must have because I did and it wasn't even my body/baby! Remember that what you see happen in someone's life did not happen without much preparation, trial, and struggle. What is it that you long for more than anything else? Is there a goal you have not been able to complete, but know you are called to pursue? What have you been willing to sacrifice to reach this goal? Has your heart been moved to the point of tears because you want it so badly? Nothing great comes without a cost.



"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him." James 1:12

Samuel's Call

I was delaying in starting this message because to be quite honest, I had no clue what I was to write about today! So I did the only logical thing I could think to do and that is ask God to show me what He wants me to say. Not that I don't do this every time I write these, but there is usually a theme or topic He lays on my heart and then I find scriptures that align. I started by opening my Bible and cleaning out all the note sheets that have accumulated there over the last few months. While removing one section I felt God telling me to read what was on the page that opened. He directed me to 1 Samuel 3. My Bible titles this section as "Samuel's Call."

While still a young boy Samuel hears God call him. He mistakes the voice of God for that of the priest Eli. This happens several times before Eli realizes Samuel is hearing the voice of God. His instructions to Samuel are to respond to God and not himself. When you were a child, did you have a sense of knowing you would be called to something big some day? Have you heard a voice calling to you, but you thought it was simply to offer your service to man or to whomever was in your authority. Samuel thought he was simply in the temple to be a student to Eli. However, God spoke to him and what he shared was not positive to Eli, his authority. As Eli asks Samuel to share what God has spoken, can you imagine Samuel's thoughts?  We are even told he was afraid to tell Eli of his vision. It is not an easy thing to provide correction to those in authority. However, there are times when God speaks and we must obey. How the authority receives the correction is between them and God. Eli was approachable and even sought out the information from Samuel. I'm sure this made it easier for Samuel to provide the correction. Eli's response to the the rebuke is "He is the Lord. He will do what He thinks is good." I would imagine Samuel felt a bit of relief from this response!

At this point I find it important to go back to 1 Samuel 1 where we find the interaction between Hannah, Samuel's mother, and Eli the priest. In her hurt and in her crying out to God, she is met with scolding from the priest. He assumes she is drunk because it appears she is speaking to herself. Have we ever judged someone in a negative way or assumed there was sin in their lives, when in reality what we witnessed was their attempt in drawing closer to God? The way we interact with God varies with each person. Once Hannah explains she is hurt and simply petitioning God (she was pleading for a son), Eli sends her away in peace and speaks life over her by requesting God grant her plea. The next morning Hannah and her husband wake early to bow and worship God. It is after they return home when Hannah conceives Samuel..

When she had been in the temple she had vowed to return the gift of a child back to the Lord. As soon as Samuel was weaned, she returned him to the temple to live. She returns and reminds Eli of their previous meeting. She is not hesitant or reluctant in leaving Samuel. Her prayer is recorded in 1 Samuel 2. God truly opened her womb because she later gives birth to three more sons and two daughters. We are told in this same chapter of the sin of Eli's sons. Did Hannah know this was happening? Did she have any reservation of leaving her son not just with Eli, but in the company of his disobedient sons? I can't help but wonder if she had chosen to "keep" Samuel, if she would have received the further blessings of offspring.

I have mentioned the beginning of the story to emphasize the importance of being a Godly mother. Hannah's faith led to her sacrificing her son into God's kingdom. Would he have heard God's voice had he not been offered as a "sacrifice" by his mother? I believe it's because of Hannah's faithfulness to God that Samuel was positioned to be used by God and to audibly hear His voice at such a young age. We all want great things for our children. However, our hearts cry for them should be only that they would be used by God, in whatever way that looks.

I am not posting the text for today's topic because it covers several chapters. Please take the time to read 1 Samuel 1-3 on your own. I would love to hear your feedback on these scriptures and how they speak to your life .