Patience

I've had a realization today. Okay, maybe it hasn't just happened today, but more something God has been showing me for a while now. Well, a long while actually. I am not a patient person. If I see something that needs to be done, I  do it. The discipline of waiting is not something I possess. At least I haven't in the past. I've come to see one of the lessons God has been teaching me over the years is that of patience. This is also the case when it comes to relationships. I'm having to learn to be patient and wait for the ONE God has chosen for me. When I meet a man who seems like a good catch, I want to rush things. It's my nature. Because of my past, I have had to be in control of everything and make all the decisions. I'm having to learn to trust God to bring me a man who will be the one to "chase" me rather than the other way around. Can I tell you how absolutely difficult it is for me to do?

I'm going to speak to all the singles reading this now. Ladies, you DESERVE to be pursued! A husband is called to love his wife as Christ loves the church. That means he WILL pursue you. He WILL seek you out. He WILL love you right where you are! There may be some change involved, but it will always be a change for the better. A real man will respect you. A real man will honor you as a woman. He will be proud to be seen with you! I see so many woman in wrong relationships. The thought seems to be that it is better to be in a miserable relationship than to be single. This is a lie straight from the devil! As long as you remain in the wrong relationship, you will be unable to further the call God has placed on your life. The ONE God chooses for you will encourage you to pursue your calling and to be who God made you to be. This applies whether that calling is to become a preacher to millions and write books or if that calling is to be a stay at home mom and have ten children.

This is a subject I am so passionate about! Not only in speaking to you, but in speaking to myself as well! I know what I WANT in my life, but having the patience to let God orchestrate it is sometimes downright painful! However, the pain of waiting is nothing compared to the pain that comes from trying to do things in my own way.

"And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness to have the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises." Hebrews 6:11-12

I love this verse in Hebrews. I often need this reminder that it is through faith and patience that I will inherit the promises of God. His promises are fulfilled in His timing and in His way. We can become so caught up in how we think His promises should look that we miss out on what God wants for us in this season. Never underestimate what God is doing in and through you at THIS moment! Praying for all of you today, but especially for those who are single. I know when you have expectations for a Godly husband, there are many who will tell you that your expectations are too much. There is nothing crazy about believing for what God says you should expect. What I find crazy is how many settle for less that was is from God. Yes, these expectations probably mean you will be single for longer than you would like. The way I see it, my expectations have probably saved me from a couple divorces had I "settled" for something other than what I know God wants for me. He wants that for you too. If you are in a dating relationship that you know is not honoring to God, then end it. Yes, it's that simple. If you are having to compromise yourself or your values simply to keep that man, then I can almost 100% assure you, he is NOT the one God would choose for you.

I could keep writing because this is something I feel so strongly! I will leave you with this thought: If we, as Christian women, began to expect more, then our Christian brothers would be able to become the men of God we desire. Why would they be encouraged to change if we are willing to accept less than God's best?

Boasting

A scripture on my heart his morning comes from 1 Corinthians. It is verses 26-31:


"Brothers and sisters, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27 But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28 God chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29 so that no one may boast before him. 30 It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31 Therefore, as it is written: “Let the one who boasts boast in the Lord.”


Have you ever compared yourself to someone else? It seems competition is all around us. We can see where someone is currently in life and think we could never be as successful or as cool as they are. On the opposite side of that is we can see someone who has a life in shambles and an absolute wreck and immediately deem them as a hopeless cause. It occurred to me this week that some of my closest friends and greatest sources of encouragement are people who were once drug addicts and gang members. I wonder how many times people who knew them then considered them as worthless. Yet, I know from each of their stories that they each had somoene who never gave up on them. They each had people who showed the love of Christ to them and never stopped telling them that God had a call on their life.

For thousands of years, the greatest people of faith have been those who were the least chosen by man. Those who have been foolish. Those who have committed crimes. Those who have lived lives in total rebellion to God. And yet, once God became real to them, they were transformed into people who were willing to be used greatly by God. You see, if you have been crazy for the things of this world, you are accustomed to being judged. You develop a thick skin against what people think or say about you. God can use that same stubborness to bring glory to His name! God uses those with no influence to speak wisdom into the lives of many. Oftentimes the greatest influences in our lives can be people who think they are not influencing anyone.


Do you feel too weak? Maybe you have made choices in your life that now cause you to feel shame. Don't ever, ever, ever let anyone tell you that you are too messed up to be used by God! According to scripture, it is those who are judged unhealthy and messed up by the world that God PREFERS! It is by His amazing grace that lives like this are transformed into something beautiful. For those of us who are in relationship with Christ, it is also critical that we never forget where we were when God found us. We should never look down on where someone is currently in their life because you could be looking at someone who could be used greatly by God. The reason God chooses those who have a "twisted" past is because everyone who knows that person knows it could ONLY be God that could bring about the changes they see in that person. Anything I am today can only be accredited to God's amazing grace and love. It is through nothing I have done in my own strength that has brought me to where I am today.

If you boast in ANYTHING, boast in Jesus.

Friendships

Friendships and true relationships take time. Let's be honest. They can be inconvenient. Effort is required. However, when we put forth the time and effort, there is nothing like true friendship! Last night I visited a good friend just to hang out and do nothing specific. When we are together, we laugh and laugh. If you didn't already know, laughter is healthy for your soul. I don't mean just an occassional chuckle, but the laughing so hard you are crying kind of laughter. God did not make us to walk around being grumpy all the time. He gives us things to laugh at and enjoy. Have you ever really looked at a platypus? That is one funny creature!

When we put forth the effort to develop friendships, we are rewarded far beyond the risk involved. Many of us have hurts in our past from wounds caused by people we thought were our friends. Often those wounds are caused by people who are themselves wounded. Maybe it was something said and you assumed it was in confidence, but you later found out that person had shared the information with others. It could even be something as serious as a friend who "stole" a boyfriend or husband. When things such as these happen, this does not mean we are to disconnect ourselves from all future friendships. Just as God said it was not good for man to be alone, this also applies to women. We all need friends who know the REAL us and can speak into our lives from a place of a deeper knowing (Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart. Proverbs 27: 9)

We need to let go of our competition mentality and realize the beauty found in female friendships. Every woman has her OWN beauty and worth. I wonder how many possible friendships I have missed out in having because of my initial opinion of another woman. That goes the other way around also. I've often wondered what kind of impression I leave on others. Do I come across as approachable and open to being a friend? I know for sure there have been times in my life when I have been closed to others. Looking back over these times, I know it was at the same time when I was hurting inside deeply. I probably offended people because of my lack of friendliness. Who have you come into contact with recently that seemed to be bothered by a simple "hello?" It can be easy to label someone as rude or cold, but in reality they are simply hurting. We all need someone who can come into our lives and encourage us to grow, even if it is to grow out of our hurt. (As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. Proverbs 27: 17)


I would like to challenge all of you to think of three different types of women. First, think of someone you know that is a completely opposite personality from you. If you are a woman who loves nature and hiking, find someone who would rather go shopping and have her nails done (btw, this somewhat describes myself and my friend I saw last night). Second, think of someone you know who seems to have built a wall against everyone around her. We all know someone who seems to always be alone and often runs away from social interactions. Thirdly, find a woman who is a different race or culture than you. You are HUGELY limiting yourself if all your friends look just like you and come from the same hometown or background. With each of these women, I challenge you to reach out to them and build a new friendship. Pray about whom God would want you to connect. Invite her to coffee or to come over for dinner. I would love to hear back from you in a month or two about what happens when you make this effort!

Bitterness

I hope I don't lose you today by up front saying that I'm writing based on scriptures found in the book of Numbers. I know this may not be the most "interesting" book of the Bible and is probably even skipped over in reading. However, I think we need to be extremely cautious in downplaying the importance of any of God's word. If it has remained in the Bible as we now know it, then it is there for a reason.

In my translation, Numbers 5:11-31 is referred to as "The Jealousy Ritual." Upon first reading I wanted to immediately discredit this "ritual" as archaic and completely ridiculous. A husband who even suspects his wife is cheating can ask a priest to perform some hocus pocus with holy water and a clay bowl? I mean, seriously? As I continued reading, verses 27-28 began to "speak" to me in a way beyond their initial impression.

"When he has made her drink the water, then it shall be, if she has defiled herself and behaved unfaithfully toward her husband, that the water that brings a curse will enter her and become bitter, and her belly will swell, her thigh will rot, and the woman will become a curse among her people. But if the woman has not defiled herself, and is clean, then she shall be free and may conceive children."

As I began to think about this more I can see how this is still very true today. While it may not be a ritual performed by a priest, the bitterness that comes from being unfaithful (be it to a husband or to God), is very real. I'm not sure if the physical symptoms described in Numbers are the result of the curse in the ritual or the natural by-product of sex outside of marriage. Speaking from my own experience in this area, I can tell you every intimate encounter I've had (all outside of marriage) left me with bitterness. There is a part of you given away each and every time. God designed sex to be a wonderful, beautiful thing within the confines of marriage. When we carry it outside the marriage bed, we defile and poison the beauty.

I know there are trials when married. I've watched as people I know struggle in their marriage and then turn to intimacy with others in an attempt to "escape," even if only for the moment. I've watched as this happened with both men and women cheating. The effect on men is very different than the effect on women. When a woman gives herself away to a man that is not her husband, she begins to fantasize what life would be like with the other man. While she may have not felt happy inside of her marriage, she now becomes not just dissatisfied, but bitter. Any attempt her husband makes to show affection is met with bitterness. Things he says are filtered through a lens of bitterness.

I have experienced this also in my past. My experiences became the lens in which I viewed my present. This was an area in which I have had to allow God to bring healing. It took me years to work through much of the bitterness I had towards men. Looking back, I can see most of my bitterness was the result of my choices to have sex outside of marriage. The calls that never came the next day. The avoidance after the "act." If you have been there, then I'm sure you know exactly what I'm referencing. The beauty of Jesus is that unlike the woman guilty according to the ritual found in Numbers, you do not have to REMAIN bitter. Jesus came to break every curse! You no longer have to be bound in bitterness!

A major part of healing is properly diagnosing the problem. Take time today to ask God to show you any areas of bitterness you may have in your life. If you have had sex outside of marriage, then there is definite potential for some bitterness to exists. God wants to heal you! Accept His grace and healing today!