Bitterness

I hope I don't lose you today by up front saying that I'm writing based on scriptures found in the book of Numbers. I know this may not be the most "interesting" book of the Bible and is probably even skipped over in reading. However, I think we need to be extremely cautious in downplaying the importance of any of God's word. If it has remained in the Bible as we now know it, then it is there for a reason.

In my translation, Numbers 5:11-31 is referred to as "The Jealousy Ritual." Upon first reading I wanted to immediately discredit this "ritual" as archaic and completely ridiculous. A husband who even suspects his wife is cheating can ask a priest to perform some hocus pocus with holy water and a clay bowl? I mean, seriously? As I continued reading, verses 27-28 began to "speak" to me in a way beyond their initial impression.

"When he has made her drink the water, then it shall be, if she has defiled herself and behaved unfaithfully toward her husband, that the water that brings a curse will enter her and become bitter, and her belly will swell, her thigh will rot, and the woman will become a curse among her people. But if the woman has not defiled herself, and is clean, then she shall be free and may conceive children."

As I began to think about this more I can see how this is still very true today. While it may not be a ritual performed by a priest, the bitterness that comes from being unfaithful (be it to a husband or to God), is very real. I'm not sure if the physical symptoms described in Numbers are the result of the curse in the ritual or the natural by-product of sex outside of marriage. Speaking from my own experience in this area, I can tell you every intimate encounter I've had (all outside of marriage) left me with bitterness. There is a part of you given away each and every time. God designed sex to be a wonderful, beautiful thing within the confines of marriage. When we carry it outside the marriage bed, we defile and poison the beauty.

I know there are trials when married. I've watched as people I know struggle in their marriage and then turn to intimacy with others in an attempt to "escape," even if only for the moment. I've watched as this happened with both men and women cheating. The effect on men is very different than the effect on women. When a woman gives herself away to a man that is not her husband, she begins to fantasize what life would be like with the other man. While she may have not felt happy inside of her marriage, she now becomes not just dissatisfied, but bitter. Any attempt her husband makes to show affection is met with bitterness. Things he says are filtered through a lens of bitterness.

I have experienced this also in my past. My experiences became the lens in which I viewed my present. This was an area in which I have had to allow God to bring healing. It took me years to work through much of the bitterness I had towards men. Looking back, I can see most of my bitterness was the result of my choices to have sex outside of marriage. The calls that never came the next day. The avoidance after the "act." If you have been there, then I'm sure you know exactly what I'm referencing. The beauty of Jesus is that unlike the woman guilty according to the ritual found in Numbers, you do not have to REMAIN bitter. Jesus came to break every curse! You no longer have to be bound in bitterness!

A major part of healing is properly diagnosing the problem. Take time today to ask God to show you any areas of bitterness you may have in your life. If you have had sex outside of marriage, then there is definite potential for some bitterness to exists. God wants to heal you! Accept His grace and healing today!