For HIS Glory

Today I was listening to a worship song and singing happily along with the lyrics. As many of us do, I was singing without truly paying attention to the words I was speaking. Then, as usually happens when Tasha Cobbs enters the music rotation, God starts speaking. Here is what I was singing. 

Lord if I
Find favor in Your sight
Lord please
Hear my hearts cry

I'm desperately waiting
To be where You are
I'll cross the hottest desert
I'll travel near or far

For Your glory
I will do anything
Just to see You
To behold You as my King

For Your glory
I will do anything
Just to see you
To behold You as my King

After making this bold, heartfelt declaration, I heard God say "Really? You'll do anything? What about in ________?" I am inserting a blank here because the area God pointed out is one in which I have been struggling. You can insert your area of battle here for the sake of this illustration. Also, it's really none of your business what God called out on me. But I'm digressing.

He asked me....if it's for MY glory, are you willing to continue the fight? Will you quit before I get the glory? OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

What if the very thing in life you are fighting is the exact thing God will use to bring glory to HIM? What will happen if you throw in the towel and quit? And I get it! Crossing the hottest desert and traveling near or far may seem like an easy option compared to the battle you are facing! Sign me up for the road trip any day! 

Even Jesus asked for God to "take this cup from me" (Matthew 26:39) as He was facing His death. Yet, He followed this cry by saying "Not MY will, but YOURS." When facing His biggest fight, He asked God to take it away. But He knew that taking the burden away was not why He was created. Taking the cross out of the picture would not bring God glory. Dying to self brings God glory! Let me say it again...

DYING TO SELF BRINGS GOD GLORY. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!!

So I will keep fighting. I will continue in the place I have wanted to quit. Because I know it will bring Him glory. I just want to be where He is, and He's in the battle. He's in the places where I am tired. He's in the middle of it all. 

Click HERE to listen to For Your Glory by Tasha Cobbs Leonard.

Lessons from Beautiful Boy

Last night my husband and I went to see the movie Beautiful Boy. It's a story about drug addiction and the affects on both the user, and those who love them. It caused me to think of those I know personally who have passed away from their drug use. I thought of their parents. I had the realization of the emotions and things they experienced prior to their child's death as they watched their beautiful boy (or girl) turn into another person. 

The film also shows how a father will go to great lengths to find the son he once knew. This film is not intended to be a Christian film, but it definitely had spiritual parallels. I thought of how Jesus looks for us while we are lost in our sin. As the father told the son, "This is not who you are!" I recalled all the times God has spoken those words to me. Steve Carell did a wonderful job portraying the anguish a parent goes through as their child makes decisions that are not in their best interest. It was a small glimpse into how God must feel as we disobey Him and the things He has told us are good for us. We seek out things other than Him to fill the hole in our hearts. We strive to get the next "high" when nothing but His presence will truly satisfy. 

Many of us know the story of the prodigal son in the bible. I wonder if the father searched for his son. I wonder if he lost sleep due to his anxiety over where his son was and what he was doing. This film is the modern day prodigal son story, as told by the father. It's also a reminder of where our seemingly innocent choices can lead us to choices with far more dangerous consequences. Where are you in your walk today? Are you running from God in an attempt to get your next high? Do you feel a void inside that you just can't seem to fill? There is only one way to find true peace and happiness. Stop running and come home to Jesus. He's been watching and waiting for you. 

FULLY Known

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything.”

—Tim Keller

One of my favorite songs at the moment is "Known" by Tauren Wells. I heard an interview with him about the song and he referenced the above quote as one of the motivations for the song. I love this song because it talks about how we are FULLY known by God, and He still loves us. It's ridiculous grace to be FULLY known and loved by the creator of the universe. 

I think one of our greatest fears as humans is if others truly knew us, they would no longer love us. It is the reason we lie. It is why we post only the highlights of our lives on social media. If people knew our struggles, our addictions, our pasts, our real thoughts, they may no longer love us. Honestly, would they really even LIKE us? We seek to please and impress rather than seek to be real. How often do you hear someone talk about why they like someone and they make the statement, "They're just so REAL!" We desire realness. Or at least perceived "realness." 

The reality is, we can never FULLY know someone. We only ever know someone to the extent they allow us inside. Even within marriage, we only know what our spouse chooses to share. What they do when we aren't around can easily be hidden. How they treat others outside of our presence, cannot be known by us. What we think about in the secret of the night and what we feel cannot be known unless we choose to share with others. 

But there is a God who knows it all. He knows more about us than we know about ourselves. The reasons why we do what we do? He knows. The things we do in secret? He knows. The family history we are ashamed to share? He knows. The thoughts we have that we would never dare speak? He knows. He knows it all. And yet He STILL loves us! No matter what we do, He continues to pursue us. We can run, and He still chases. He won't let go. This overwhelms me! 

I don't know what you are fighting right now. Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed and overlooked. Perhaps you have wanted a relationship with Christ, but feel you've done too much for Him to still love you. I can assure you, there is no height, nor depth, nor sin too great to separate you from His love. He ALREADY knows you FULLY! He's waiting for you to come to know Him. If you need prayer, please message me and I would be honored to pray with/for you. 

Hearing God's Voice

There was a time in my life where I knew I heard God. It was years ago. And then life happened. Changes came and responsibilities shifted and the thing that escaped me was my time spent with Him.  And then I couldn't hear Him any longer. He didn't move. I did.

Last week I committed to listening to a sermon a day in addition to taking time to read my Bible. I've asked God to show me He still speaks. And not just that He speaks, but that He still wants to speak to me. During worship on Sunday morning, I heard Him speak again. And He told me to write it down. Here is what I heard Sunday morning:

"When rains come, but nothing has been planted or sown, nothing can grow from the rain. The rain can saturate, God's presence can fill our lives, but if we haven't sown prior to the rain, there's nothing for God to grow fruit with. Sow in tears. Sow in heartbreak. Sow in tragedy. Sow in pain. Sow in praise. Sow in obedience. Sow even when you see no clouds coming. Sow when life is dry. Sow when you don't see the purpose. The seed never looks like what it will produce. Trust God enough to sow the seed no matter how fruitless it appears."

Then when the pastor preached, he confirmed some of these very things I "heard" during worship. Tonight, I had a very similar experience. Here is what I heard tonight,

Don't forget who I Am.

If you need a provider, I Am.

If you need a protector, I Am.

If you need a husband, I Am.

If you need to feel loved, I Am.

If you need a father, I Am.

If you need a healer, I Am.

I will be what you need and what you seek.

If you want a little God that is exactly what I will be to you.

If you seek a big God, a God of miracles, signs, and wonders, then that is WHO I AM.

I do not change. 

From the beginning of time, I have been all things. 

You change. You choose who I will be in your life.

Let me in to be all you need and more! 

Let me love on you.

Let me surprise you with the grandeur of who I Am.

Allow Me to open the blessings set aside for you.

I AM all you seek.

So seek ME FIRST!

During the message, one of the pastors shared the verse about seeking God first. I share all this to remind you if you haven't been hearing from God lately, look into your own life to see what changed. I had become so busy that I was not taking the time needed to hear Him above all the noise and obligations of life. I was not seeking Him first. He was more of an afterthought. As I have begun to put Him first again, I'm finding He is still speaking. And He is sending confirmation almost immediately after to confirm it IS indeed His voice I hear. 

I would like to challenge you to again seek Him. Listen to a sermon a day. It can be 20 minutes or an hour. Find one. I visit YouTube and search sermons. The options are plentiful! I would love to hear how God works in your life once you put Him first again! What is He speaking to YOU? 

The Discipline of a Father

"Don't you see how wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient God is with you? Does this mean nothing to you? Can't you see that His kindness is intended to turn you from your sin?" ~Romans 2:4 

Blending a family is not easy. There are kids accustomed to one set of guidelines and other kids who are accustomed to another. There are parents with two different styles of parenting and who see things differently in terms of what matters and what doesn't. I recently had a conversation with my new husband regarding discipline that spoke to me about how we witness to others.  

Let me first start by saying how much I appreciate my husband and his role as the man of the house. I'm thankful for the places he is strong because they are mostly places in which I am weak. Being a single mom of two for so many years, I know I've not been as stern as a daddy would be. I recognize the ways in which a mom disciplines is different than the discipline of a father. It is different because it is how God made us. Men were made for this role.  

I recently talked to my husband regarding his relationship with our 9 year old daughter. I thanked him for the discipline he gives her, but also reminded him that she also needs to know he loves her. His goal is to treat all the children the same and to expect the same out of all of them. I understand his point and mentioned how they should have the same treatment, but we also have to remember they have been raised in two different environments and are familiar with different rules and expectations. His daughter knows what her daddy expects and allows. My girls are still learning. So there has to be grace. Unless we know someone loves us, their discipline will be resented and seen as mean and judgmental.  

And this is where God spoke to me.  

How often do we look at those who are not believers in Christ, or who have newly believed, and expect them to behave in a way contradictory to what they've known before. They don't know their "Daddy's" expectations of them. If all we do is give them laws, rules, and expectations, without the love of the Father, why would they want that kind of daddy. It is the love of God that draws men to repentance. It was the love in Christ that caused people to follow Him to the point of losing their own lives.  

When interacting with a new believer, don't forget to show love. In truth, this applies to all believers. No matter how seasoned in the faith we may be, we are still learning. Each new level brings new failures and new fears. We all need discipline with a dose of grace and love. It's this grace and love that leads us to turn from our sins and live a life pleasing to our Father.