Leaving a Legacy

 

    Today I had the honor to attend the funeral of a close friend's mother. Having known my friend for over a dozen years, I had interacted with his parents several times in the past. While I knew her in relation to him, I can't say I knew her in a deeply personal way. So my attendance at her funeral was to show support for my friend. 

               After today, I feel I know her much better. What I witnessed in person after person who stood up to share a story about Cindy is that she loved. Not only did she love others, she loved them like Jesus loved. Every person shared how she was always the first to welcome them somewhere, how she visited the elderly and the sick, how she showed hospitality to all. She sang with her siblings in a worship band, she played the violin, and even recorded albums. She shared her artistic gift with others not just through music, but also through her amazing artistic gift of painting. She made amazing floral arrangements. Several people commented how in all the hours they spent with her, they never heard her complain. Ever. 

            Many times we can question whether our lives are really making a difference to others. I can't speak for sure about Cindy, but if she was like most of us, she may have asked herself this question. Based on what I witnessed today, she made a major difference in the lives of those who had the honor to know her. She lived a life that was an example of Christ's love for others. And she made a difference in the life of her children. 

        As I mentioned, I know her son well. I first met Justin when we attended the same church many years ago. My first impression of him was ....he's the crazy guy dancing without restraint during worship. Now I see it is because of the unabandoned example he witnessed in his parents that he had the love of worship. We both went on a missions trip to Costa Rica and that is when our real friendship began. I saw him love on children who didn't speak the same language. I saw him give of himself to show Jesus to others. Not always when it was comfortable, but when it required sacrifice. Just like his Mom taught him. My daughters came to refer to him as "Uncle Justin" as he would come over often and be a friend to this single mom and her two kids. I think his love for children was probably also taught by his mom. 

    So what I know personally of Cindy, is the kind of man she raised. She succeeded in raising a son who loves Jesus and loves others, just as his mom taught him. For that, she has left a legacy to not just those who knew her, but to all those who know the son she raised. That is truly what leaving a legacy is about. Generations to come will rise up and call her blessed because of her love for the Lord. This is the legacy she has left and is the only one that matters. 

    Well done Cindy. 

Rest, But Don't Quit

     In 1 Kings, there are numerous stories of how Elijah is used by God to do great, powerful, mighty, supernatural things. He commands the weather in 1 Kings 17:1 by saying "there will be no dew or rain during these years except by MY command." (emphasis added) He is then guided by God to a place where he has access to water and is provided nourishment by the ravens bringing him food. When the water dries up for the lack of rain, that he commanded would happen, he is guided to a widow's house. While there, her supply of oil and flour multiplied so she never was out of supply. Her son passes away and Elijah raises him back to life. 

    Elijah leaves her house and then challenges the prophets of Baal to a "duel." God shows Himself real through Elijah in this encounter. Time after time God shows Himself to and through Elijah. Elijah was not unfamiliar with the realness of God. Elijah, of all people, knew the true God.  And yet....

    Elijah knew fear. Elijah knew exhaustion. Elijah knew doubt. Elijah knew frustration. After his encounter with the prophets of Baal, Jezebel tells him he will be just like them within a day's time. In other words, she said, by tomorrow, you will be dead. And he believed her. Elijah. Who has done all these mighty works through the word of GOD, hears the words of Jezebel and runs to hide. Oh dear Elijah, how I can relate to you. 

    In my 40 plus years of life, I have seen the power of God many times. I have seen people healed in ways doctors cannot explain. I have felt the presence of God so strongly I could not even stand. Working in ministry can be exhilarating, rewarding, and a great honor. But like Elijah, the word of the "world" can still cause me to want to run and hide. 

    Elijah runs after Jezebel's proclamation. He lays down under a broom tree and says "I've had enough. Just let me die." I think over this last year many of us have felt this same feeling. This is all too much. Just let it be over, in whatever way necessary. He saw God's people had abandoned their faith. They were not walking in the true ways of God (19:10). Elijah felt all alone in his faith and devotion to the true God. But don't stop with Elijah's story there. In response to his plea, an angel appears. The angel provides him with two days of water and food. God saw, and acknowledged Elijah's need for rest. He not only saw his need, but He supplied during his need. 

    GOD SEES YOUR NEED FOR REST. 

Once Elijah's strength is restored, God directs him to get up. Elijah's calling had not yet been completely fulfilled. Elijah is guided to find Elisha so he can pass his anointing on to someone else. Our experiences and walk with God are not simply for us. We are called to continue in our race until we have passed on our anointing to others. God will provide for us fresh nourishment to arise and complete this journey.

GOD WILL PROVIDE YOUR STRENGTH

God spoke to me today to stop beating myself up for resting. To stop feeling like a failure because those I've witnessed to have rejected His word and turned from truth.  He showed me, through scripture, that I am not the first person to feel like abandoning my calling and purpose. I can trust God to provide what I need to increase my strength to arise and continue this journey He has called me to. And if He will do it for Elijah, and for me, He can do it for you too. So rest, receive supernatural sustenance, and then arise. 

ARISE AND GO WITH GOD 

    

My Suicide Story

Today I heard the song Because He Lives. It's one I haven't heard in a while. Hearing it took me back to childhood and the many Sundays spent in a Southern Baptist Church. The lyrics are: 

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow
Because He lives, all fear is gone
Because I know He holds the future
And life is worth the living, just because He lives

As I sang along with the lyrics I've sung hundreds of time, I heard them in a new way. What stood out the most was, "LIFE IS WORTH THE LIVING JUST BECAUSE HE LIVES."

So many people I know are fighting depression and suicidal thoughts. You can't hear a medicine commercial without hearing about possible side effects including suicidal thoughts. Things people take to help with depression may cause suicidal thoughts.  Teenagers are attempting and committing suicide at astonishing numbers. Children still in ELEMENTARY school are killing themselves. What used to be a "grown up problem" is now an everyone problem. What leads someone to this place of wanting such a permanent way out of life? No hope. 

I was once there. I attempted suicide when I was 17.  I counted out 100 pills from various bottles in the medicine cabinet at my home. I took all of them. Within about an hour I started feeling very ill. My mom wasn't home at the time I took the pills. Intense vomiting had started before she got home. I didn't tell her what I had done so she assumed I had a virus. For the next 24 hours I continued vomiting. I don't remember ever having second thoughts about taking so many pills in order to kill myself. I only remember regretting it because I was so sick. Once they all worked their way out of my system, I was fine. At least physically. 

Why did I do that? I had no hope. I had no relationship with the only person who gives REAL hope. I attended church. That didn't mean I knew Jesus. All I saw was the situation around me. I felt the pain of my life. I was tired of feeling pain. I was tired of abuse. I was tired of shame. I was tired of being called names. I was just tired. I wanted rest. Even if that meant death. These feelings didn't go away. Several months later I had a nervous breakdown. I started crying one day and simply couldn't stop. This led to a two week stay in a mental hospital. Yes, the highlight of my senior year in high school was two weeks in a mental ward.

While there I met many amazing kids. I heard their stories. I remember one girl had a dad who had been featured on Unsolved Mysteries because he left for work one morning and simply disappeared. I remember Nadia, who was schizophrenic. Yes, over 25 years later, I remember her name. I learned things while there that have helped me numerous times over the course of my adult life. But those things never gave me true hope. 

I encountered true hope when I met Jesus. We seek so many things to give our lives meaning. We seek relationships, friendships, the latest phone, experiment with sex, alcohol, drugs, and so many other addictions. We even will have children thinking they will give our lives meaning. We place unrealistic expectations on others to make us happy and give us purpose. We seek and seek in vain. It is only through accepting Christ that we can find our true purpose and identity. It's because He lives that we can live too. You CAN face tomorrow when you have a relationship with Christ. All fear CAN be gone. When you know who holds tomorrow, you no longer have to worry about what you may face there. 

If you are battling depression, don't stop fighting. If you need a friend to listen, I'm here. Don't hide in the shame of your thoughts. Satan would love nothing more than for you to take action and cancel the plan God has for your life. Because Jesus lives, you can face tomorrow. If you don't know Him, I would love to talk with you more about who He is and why He loves you so much. 

Don't Baby Me

Last night my girls were invited by a friend to attend a service at a local youth retreat. They are close friends and were excited to go with her to this service. This morning I asked them about last night. My 13 year old explained how it was okay and they talked about some things they talk about at our church's youth group. She didn't sound too thrilled so I asked her to give me more details. She said, "Well, they brought up some subjects, but they didn't really SAY anything about them. They didn't talk to anyone specifically or say anything that would really help with those issues. I like that at our youth group, they don't talk to us that way." 

After some more questioning, I got to what she was trying to say. They watered down their message. At the age of 13, she didn't want to hear about anxiety. She wanted to hear what the word of God says about how to deal with anxiety. She didn't want to be "babied" by the word, she wanted the hard hitting truth. 

How many of us, as adults, are okay with being babied by the word? How quickly are we offended by those who speak the hard hitting, unadulterated TRUTH of God's word? Do we crave true intimacy with God? Intimacy requires time spent together. It requires honesty and openness to feedback. It requires us to be willing to allow God to speak to us as adults. 

Have you ever had to confront someone on an issue and they responded like a toddler? They yell, pout,  and then give the silent treatment simply because you challenged them on something. How often do we respond to God in the same way when He points out an issue in our lives. By the way, He usually uses other people to help point out those issues. Ouch! 

So Church, it's time for us to grow up. Stop being offended by your pastor (and others) who speak the truth of God's word. Stop looking for churches and leaders who will baby you. Grow up. There's a whole generation following behind who need us. 

My 13 year old gets it. Do you?

For HIS Glory

Today I was listening to a worship song and singing happily along with the lyrics. As many of us do, I was singing without truly paying attention to the words I was speaking. Then, as usually happens when Tasha Cobbs enters the music rotation, God starts speaking. Here is what I was singing. 

Lord if I
Find favor in Your sight
Lord please
Hear my hearts cry

I'm desperately waiting
To be where You are
I'll cross the hottest desert
I'll travel near or far

For Your glory
I will do anything
Just to see You
To behold You as my King

For Your glory
I will do anything
Just to see you
To behold You as my King

After making this bold, heartfelt declaration, I heard God say "Really? You'll do anything? What about in ________?" I am inserting a blank here because the area God pointed out is one in which I have been struggling. You can insert your area of battle here for the sake of this illustration. Also, it's really none of your business what God called out on me. But I'm digressing.

He asked me....if it's for MY glory, are you willing to continue the fight? Will you quit before I get the glory? OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!

What if the very thing in life you are fighting is the exact thing God will use to bring glory to HIM? What will happen if you throw in the towel and quit? And I get it! Crossing the hottest desert and traveling near or far may seem like an easy option compared to the battle you are facing! Sign me up for the road trip any day! 

Even Jesus asked for God to "take this cup from me" (Matthew 26:39) as He was facing His death. Yet, He followed this cry by saying "Not MY will, but YOURS." When facing His biggest fight, He asked God to take it away. But He knew that taking the burden away was not why He was created. Taking the cross out of the picture would not bring God glory. Dying to self brings God glory! Let me say it again...

DYING TO SELF BRINGS GOD GLORY. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!!

So I will keep fighting. I will continue in the place I have wanted to quit. Because I know it will bring Him glory. I just want to be where He is, and He's in the battle. He's in the places where I am tired. He's in the middle of it all. 

Click HERE to listen to For Your Glory by Tasha Cobbs Leonard.

The Theft of America's Soul by Phil Robertson

If I read a book in two days, it's a good book. I read this in less than two days. In this writing, Phil Robertson reminds of the lies of Satan we have believed and the truth God says that contradict these lies. Using ten points, just as there are ten commandments, Robertson addresses the biggest lies we as a country have believed. Starting with the lie that God is dead and working through the lie Christians should be quiet and stop speaking the word of God that is "offensive."

I have been challenged in this book to examine what lies I have believed personally. Have I given in to the lies of the world and not trusted the truth of God's word? If you don't want to be challenged to examine your Christian walk, then don't read this book. But if you want to live more like Jesus has commanded, then take this book to heart. It is full of scriptural references. The thoughts expressed are not simply those of the author. They are the thoughts and commandments of Jesus. This is also for those who are seeking truth. If you are struggling in areas of your life and want to know how to be free, this is also a great selection for you. Second to the Bible, of course. I would love to hear your thoughts on this book also!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

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I Think You're Wrong (But I'm Listening) by Sarah Stewart Holland and Beth Silvers

In a time when our culture demands we choose a "side" and defend it without really listening to any opposing views, this book is much needed! The authors do not agree on all issues, but discuss how to listen to each other honestly and openly. If you've posted anything even remotely controversial on social media recently, you know many of us do not know how to conversate in respectful ways.

I found the subject matter relevant and educational. It is possible to not agree on a subject and yet still show respect and kindness to those who feel differently. It is biblically relevant as we are called to exhibit the fruits of the Spirit in our lives. This includes when we don't agree. The authors show how in order to grow in our faith, it is necessary for us to dialog and interact with those who have different backgrounds, cultures, and opinions than our own. This is how we will grow the Kingdom.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the BookLook Bloggers <http://booklookbloggers.com> book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 <http://www.access.gpo.gov/nara/cfr/waisidx_03/16cfr255_03.html> : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”